Monday, April 29, 2013

One Day. Coming.

Meow

One day lollipops, ice cream,
jelly beans and sweet dreams will be my own

One day I'll sing for many
who have needs and people with broken souls.

That day is nowhere too far at all...

How could I escape from all this love?
How could I embrace all of this madness surrounding?
Oh God, you have this way of making me realizing,
my fantasies are now coming to life.

No more time to waste...
No more time to waster....

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, lovely morning.
It's always good to wake up fresh in the morning with a cup of coffee.
And pulling out my ukulele to write some tunes.

It's been a while since I could sit down and write a song.
Reflecting on the things I've done...
(oh, here come emotional rush)
But then, I won't let emotions get the best of me,
or else I"ll end up like some 文青(文艺少年)...
*tsk tsk tsk*

This song is basically about myself realizing the best of life.
Waking up to a revelation of thoughts that God is good all the time.
Maybe for those who don't believe in God might not understand me,
why would I always wanna talk about God? Jesus?

I've said this alot of times,
just because He's real and He's the maker & fulfiller of dreams.

I'm graduating soon.
In about 2 months time.
and I've always know what I really wanna do in the future,
but circumstances are showing me otherwise.
Yet lately, I got a job in KLPAC,
theatre education.
Definitely NOT the job I expect to take on,
but to my realization, it's what I NEED, though not what I WANT.

I believe this is part of the puzzle for me to unveil 
in order to get to higher ground.
So, coming to this realization gives me to smiles...
and the chills.
How awesome is He who has the best plans for us in life?
If only we could just trust Him with all we have...

Shits,
gotta get back to memorizing my script.
Hopefully will get to blog about my upcoming production,
DARK MOON!  
(18 and 19 May 2013)



Thursday, April 11, 2013

What The Birdy Days Taught Me

I beh tahan liao!! 

After a song-composing concert in my uni, named Dayao (means Big Shake, abbreviated from 摇篮手大型歌曲创作演绎会)...everyone has been posting nostalgic statuses and blog post and facebook notes and *gasp* photos! 
And as a senior who's in her final year, leaving this "ivory elephant building" (象牙塔) soon...I've so far done NOTHING, but just LIKE on facebook. 


DENG DENG DENG DENG!!! 

Pretty passive and selfish of me to do so right? 
One of the reasons that I don't wanna write anything sentimental is because I'm so afraid to face that sentimental feeling inside me.
Takut nanti nangis wei...
Anyhow, I guess it's time I write something, not just for everyone, but for myself as well. Maybe when I read this back someday, I'll blame myself for being such an emotional driven writer...
(You guys won't see me tearing up anyway, blurgh) 

And yes, all pics are stolen from various amazing photographer! *claps!* 
(by the way, for those who don't know, we regard ourselves as Birds in this "clubs")

Start out with some emo pic first... =P

This year is pretty much a year of growth for me. 
Emotional, mental, musically, technically, psychologically...physically (ekkk?)
Too much to say so I'll just separate my topics into point forms: 

1. Performing & Technical Skills
Last year, a producer commented on my singing skills and he/she recommended me to take lessons.
Instead of that, I went to sing in cafe and wedding functions.
Before venturing out, I've always thought I CAN sing. 
But bull-crap to myself when I'm out there...my singing was just peanuts!

So the whole year was a challenging one.
Cruel too.
Customers won't be like YLS seniors, giving advice or nice talks.
They criticize or just laugh at your face.
I guess I grew alot from there.
Thanks alot to my singing partners, Steve and Basil too.

Of course, 
I was and still am very touched by the improvement made by my fellow YLS friends.
Despite singing, music playing or composing or management,
EVERYONE grew from a certain extend. 
Just to specially mention XinYi Ng (Yes, you siao cabor),
Who thought she couldn't sing blues or a full band song,
I say you did AWSOME!
Kick-ass those skeptics babeh...

Musicians/ arrangers like Ding Hang, Leong Hooi, Shun Hern, Noah, Keen Long, Hazel, Guo Jing, Moh theng, Raymee, Raee, Julian, Daryl...
you guys really improve alot and I love alot of the arrangements this year.
Maybe too heavy taste for some people, but I think the songs arrangement brought up the best of you.

As for first year birdies,
hands down to you guys! I'm very grateful for a capable bunch of you guys =)
Might not be a Santana, Guthrie Govan, or The Piano Guys
but keep the passion to grow and learn,
you new birds will soon fly high.  

A new love I found -- acappella singing
**Add in a lil shoutout to my cabor gang:
YingChoa, Xinyi, Carmen, Foong Hwa
I'm too grateful to have you gals singing alongside with me.
Without you guys, I won't be able to write good music
and sing acapella! Loves! 

2. Song Composing
Probably an awkward topic to write.
This is my sword, but also my vice.
This is one of the reason I started this whole journey with music in UM.

I can't say I'm a capable writer,
as I'm limited to some stubborn genres,
I won't say I'm flexible,
'cause I still don't seem to agree with some music-market-doers,
But I can say I've grown,
from a bedroom song-writer to one who knows how to work with others.
I learn to develop a style, a piece of my own.

Of course, 
I won't forget to thank my all-time inspirationer.
(there's no such word, i made it up lol)
Jesus Christ.

If not because of Him, I wouldn't be writing,
and writing so abundantly. 

Many asked how could I write a song,
or how could I tell if that's a nice song?
Aside from subjectivity of diff individuals,
I always know a song is nice, if I have the peace and touch from within.
Especially songs I wrote when I pray. 
It's just a very intricate moment which is hard to explain by words.

But surely there are other ways to write songs lar...
don't get my wrong.
This is just how I write my stuff. ;) 

Love this pic to pieces!
I guess it just shows who I really am in Yao Lan Shou.
Just very me, no pretense.

3. Growth

You'd probably be snoring by now.
=P 
Anyways,
many things have changed, and still will do.
For example,
I'll never see music the same way I used to back in 2011.
Every year, every exposure, every moment,
we're improving, growing.
So, to all my friends,
young/old/junior/senior/super senior/...
Never stop growing.

Sometimes, we'll fall into a category of criticizing or subjective opinions.
That's one of the prominent I learned throughout these 3 years.
When we hear something that's out of our dictionary, or
something that's not our cup of tea,
we tend to laugh, gossip, criticize about it.

What I learn from a great musician friend (Farouque)
is that: 
Never underestimate people or circumstances around you.
In other words:
Never underestimate the power of music.
What makes it all work is passion, discipline and humility.

A senior (Siang Xi) told me,
song writing is like training muscle,
keep writing everyday, and you'll breakthrough.
It is and will always be my motto in writing song. ;) 

Another issue is working in a band.
Yes, there'll be conflicts, different personalities, hardships...etc.
It's hard to cope with people who don't see eye to eye with you.
And sometimes, you might be the trouble in the band without knowing it.
I'm glad that there are friends in YLS that would come up and to me,
and confront.
Something that many of us tend NOT to do so at all.

Friends, 
if you care about a friend so much,
and they hurt you along the way,
do go up and tell them what you feel against them. 
Don't go around and "share stories".
Because one day when the stories reached them,
that would tear their world apart.

That's what I did before.
and it got back to me, real hard in the face.
And so this year, I took the initiation to apologize to many whom I used to gossip about.
And asked for forgiveness.
Thankful for seniors like Mi Zen, who taught me that we could be firm and yet gentle to handle some hard situations with people.

And that's the wonder of YLS too.
We accept people with different colours of personalities.
That's why we're always like a family.
Tolerance and acceptance.
<3 nbsp="" p="">



3 years has come and gone,
and soon I'll have to carry on.
It's been a pleasure being with you,
my friend.
Thank you for the wonderful times and wonderful friends.
Thank you for the joy.
Thank you for the music that you gave to me,
Thank you Yao Lan Shou.

Thanks you to all the birdies!!!!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Flower in a Vase



Runaway with me,
Away from these alluring theories.
Withdrawal from paradise.
I stand a lonely flower.

Before you judge me,
know my story.
How I was cut and trimmed
to be another in the vase.

Maybe someday I'll wander my way back
to the beauty vase of every man's desire.
But today I'm planting my roots
in the grounds who will sink me deep.
Maybe someday...I'll come back. 

People say what they want,
Subjective perceptions overrated.
Views floating amidst water,
where they'll soon decay.

Before you judge me,
understand me.
Before you judge me,
know my story. 

I'm not your average flower in the vase.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

2013: Walking in the Light


And like what every other people would say
"Time flies"
2013, 13, 23
probably not the most exciting numbers to be seen...
especially the Western people, cz 13 is a taboo number.
However, I believe it's gonna be a super duper exciting year for me...

It's my final semester of my final year in uni! (hopefully I won't have to repeat, choi!!)
and its the year I plan to set out for a long work and travel trip, if possible with Zau. 
Not gonna hide but I'm actually planning for a wedding, probably in the next 3 years to come...
So, there's so much going in my future plans right now, and I can't tell how excited I am to face the fast-paced months...

Thus, as (almost) every year, in my blog, here's le 2013 resolution:

1. Fulfill work-and-travel 'mission' after graduation
2. Final year project: not just achieving an "A" for it, but also spread the awareness of theatre arts to many of my friends.
3. Keep up the daily devotion discipline (I confess, I've slacked alot last year)
4. To save up $$$$$ this year. (the exact numbers are best kept private here)
5. Work more frequent and consistent on my music compositions 
6. Learn to keep in touch with new/old friends. (I slacked and grown much passive over the years...bad thing)
7. Be punctual and improve in time management. (HA HA HA, if you know what I mean)
8. Be responsible in what I say and do, 别说一套做一套
9. Learn to say NO. (yes, it's a hard thing for me)
10. Find a good job. 

Well, minus out some very detailed details, there you have my 2013 resolution list.  
There are 3 secret ones which I decided to keep to myself only, just because...it's very private! (duh? =P) 

And as I was reading through the Bible, 1 John 1:7 says:
"If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin."
I must say, it speaks right out from my heart. 
For the past year, there have been many ups and downs in my walk with God. 
Many times, I've been very irresponsible in my actions and words. 

It's like saying "I love you" to your lover, yet the other hand is holding another guy kinda thing.
(not literally ok, my love life is fine lolz)

The word of God is very precise and powerful,
because it shines on our weaknesses yet it doens't condemns...
Infact, God's grace is sufficient for us to turn away from our darkest past and walk in his new light. 
It is a revelation of thoughts, which always never fails to blow my mind away.
Many people doubted the word of the Bible more than the 2012 doomsday rumours...
but I tell you, these words are words of wisdom and truth.

So,
my conclusion? Not to lie to myself in 2013
It's ok to not be perfect, and it's ok to fall down.
But I can't be too complacent with sinning and asking grace every single week, 
I'm then taking advantage of the person who loves me. 

May the year 2013 be a time of walking in the light.
The light of truth, righteousness and purity.


Walk in the Light. 

Thursday, October 4, 2012

All the LOVE


I have all the love I need
and I'm blessed indeed. 
But why are the arrows and bullets
getting the whole out of me?

I have all the love I need,
so why am I always circling around,
vultures who's awaiting me?

Oh Lord,
open my eyes and ears
to listen to my own heart...
and not the honeybees...

I have all the LOVE I need...
let's keep going...

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

What are Above the Clouds?


What are above the clouds?
Nothing shining
What are above the clouds?
Cotton candy

Right here above the clouds
My thoughts are rolling
Right here above the clouds
They're building my dreams

Dear Mr. Pilot
Take me off ground
Dear Mr. Pilot
Land me safe and sound

Right here below the clouds
My thoughts are limited
Right here below the clouds
They're building my dreams

In and out of the clouds...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wrote this song when I was on the plane back to Malaysia...
I remembered a best friend of mine used to tell me how she love to just sit and look at the clouds from below
and then I was watching from above...
The beauty of God's creation is beyond words...

During my trip to Taiwan,
I had some set backs while trying to pursue my music career. 
Facing rejections and "lessons" must be really normal in the working world...
as it is so competitive.
I'm not hating the experience of being rejected by great teachers,
infact I actually am thankful to be exposed to the market at this time...
At least I have an overview of what it will be like once I wanna do this full time.

I believe there's a place in the back of our minds...
we dream about whatever we wanna be...
But below the clouds, our actions and thoughts are limited.
Yet somehow this dream kept us moving on in life

To listen to the song: What are Above the Clouds

Hope this could be an encouragement to the ones who listened
or maybe...just a nice pat on the shoulder kinda feeling.
=)

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Satisfy My...


Satisfy my soul
Warm windy wind
Satisfy my soul, 
won't you?

I am on a float,
head stuck in the clouds
Someone bring me back to ground

I am waiting     for you
to come around
And bring me back      to earth
Oh you'll always be there by my side
So I guess I'll find my way to you

Satisfy my
Satisfy my
Satisfy my
Satisfy my soul... ...


Sometimes people just hear, they don't listen
Wrote this song 2 days ago...
Mainly because I'm feeling very tired and loathe the demands there are from this world.
It is a realistic and competitive place
all of us know this fact...
and I guess this environment has shaped us to the person we have become today...

Many times they say
"Do whatever that is true to your heart"
"Be yourself"
"Do not care of what they might say"

Really?
Really??
I do not have the answers...
'cause I'm searching for it too...

Initially I took their word for it.
But then, they didnt took my actions into account.
There isn't anything I could offer them, it seems...

I tried to satisfy their souls,
but then... ...
... 
...
We all know the fact that we should not build our satisfaction on others...
but often times, I failed to not care of what people might think about me....

I hope people could just give me a nod,
a pat on the shoulder,
a hug,
a smile
a whisper saying " Thank you for your effort"

But the more I'm entering the "real" world,
the more I realized, people dont say thank you that much anymore...
"Where do I go?
Where do I stay?
Where can I find myself again?"
-------Where do I go by Relient K

I'm entering the final year of my studies.
And seriously, I'm terrified what may come.
Where do I go? What can I do?
For now, I can only hold on tightly on God's promises in my life...
what He has promised me since two years ago...

Maybe I can't write songs that could get people to bang their heads to
or dance around like Justin Bieber (0.o...seriously you wanna use JB as an example??)
But I hope I can find a platform, for me to sing songs for people who needs healing...
for those who are lost.

ジョセリン  がんばっくてください!!
=)