After 2 devastating weeks....

I'm back!!
Cant believe it took me so long to update my blog...
after 2 long yet fast weeks...without the internet...it's like...

I dont know....maybe like what Serene said..."Jocelyn, you're addicted!!"

NO I'm not....

....

ok maybe a lil...

Anyway...it was a really emotional and overwhelming 2 weeks for me...
from learning how to shop for steamboat to spagetti,
conflicts to understanding,
infatuation to crushes...
i didnt knew that leaving home and my safety zone was such a roller coaster ride for me...
and a growing process for me...

One of the biggest impact on me emotionaly was I lost the Korea Scholarship....and it was really really devastating for me at the very moment...
When mom told me about it on Sunday, I was acting as if nothing ever happened...I was like..."Oh ok...so what?at least I still got a life in IBM...I still have STPM to back me up..."

and I thought I was strong...

But i was not as tough as I thought....

Monday night after dinner....you know, just laughing and hanging out with friends as usual....a friend of mine just pop up the question about the scholarship...he was ignorant that I didnt make it...and instantly I just felt the pain....ouch

And being so slow to react...(as usual...lolz) after entering the room...dont know why the tears just flush out ...guess thats the only way to describe it....and I dont know why I just felt so sad about it...

Guess I really wanted it so much and it meant like the whole world to me...
I was a desperado that moment...

Then there was the infatuation part...haha....lazy to talk about it now....
in short, I had a cruch on some guy here...
and with great crush comes with great jealousy....[Dylan,i finally admit it...lolz]
very freaky thing and from this incident...i learnt that it's very important to know the real situation before jumping into conclusions and get jealous... =)....

maybe no one understands what i'm talking about now...i'm just crapping!!

Anyway....it's a long yet fast 2 weeks...
that's really what I could say now...
everyday it's just books and notes and essays and test...and more scolding from teachers...
but I never ever studied so much as I am now....this school is good ....

and freaky

Gossips,competitions (pss...fashion so to say),see who wears the shortest pants...who is the sexiest gal,who is the most good looking,drop dead gorgeuos guy in IBM....bla bla bla...
the list goes on...and very materialistic and realistic place to be in...

and so far I only got to know 3 Christian friends around...

Despite all the temptations (*coughs*cute guys...*coughs*) I'm still trying to make a difference here...not to be outstanding or the prettiest,sexiest,hottest gal around....but to help others and like what Xue Fen always empahsize :"Be the SMD...."

lol...

and you know....one way to be outstanding....I'd thought of this for sometime...
since all the gals are wearing the least they can,the shorter as possible,....i got a great idea to STAND OUT of the crowd....

Wanna know?....
hehehehehehehe....

Wear my BOXERS to class!! how cool is that???

huhuhu....

Metamorphosis

From
sport shoes to high heels,
powder to make up,
Johnsons & Johnsons to Body Shop
Disney kid's perfume to Lancome
Anonymous to Maybelline
Disney to CSI
Kiki LaLa to VOIR and PDI
BATA to Nike
Huggies to Kotex....

Once heard a saying
"Everything in this world change, except change itself does not..."
Deep thought huh?
Anything in me can change
but just one thing inside wont...

My love for Jesus

=)