Tuesday, March 29, 2011

This Fragile Being

Feeling so lost...
I've lost all that "moxy" within...
My fingers are running dry,
skin growing dead...

The only nourishing element is my sickening fragile heart...

I'm indeed hard to grasp
insanely insecure
and unforgivably dishonest with my own self...

Ain't living in a bed of roses...
but I know life aint gonna go my way...
still in my baby steps to learn how to compromise,
to be understanding
and knowing how to sing my dishonest being to the world...

Help me Lord,
no one could assure this restlessness but you.
Place your melodies upon my lips,
so that I can write and sing again...

Even if the world turn its back on me,
I know...
I have someone dearly above awaiting to embrace... ...
this fragile being...

Monday, March 21, 2011

Your Smile : )

I wake up in the morning 
listening to the rain sing...
Could you feel my heartbeat darlin'?

Wish that time would just
slow down it's pace
so I could look into your eyes a lil longer.

I know its cliche to say this,
your smile lights the day out of me... 
It's funny to say such words,
as I'm not that die-hard romantic...

But one thing I wouldn't deny is that...
I love your smile,
and all that's within.

(another song undone...hmmm...)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

My First Love

For 21 years of my life,
this is my 1st time being in a relationship.
So much to learn and experience...
I'm excited 
so am I terrified.

Heard too many stories and experience from others...
how they went from lovey-dovey to break ups...
from inseparable to separable...
Many said that after the chase, 
the guys will not be as keen as before once they got you...
so have to "diao ge" (play hard to get)
etc... ...

For the pass few weeks,
indeed I felt like the luckiest gal in the world
(yes, its that cliche to say this when you're in love)
He's been such an angel in my life.
Never felt so blessed and loved by a guy before.
I guess the main reason I gave him THE green light was because
I felt security

He's simple
and insanely funny
I love to watch him laughing at his own silly jokes at times...
which is really really silly!
Sometimes I wonder why I enjoy this(????)

I love the way he does little things to care,
the way he held my hand when we're in the car,
talks about everything without any holding back...
I'm glad that he trusted me,
(and so do I).

He's full of surprises.
(and maybe he knows I love surprises...)
Finally found someone who can actually surprise me out of my expectations...
I guess he must have squeezed all his brain juice out...
(valentines day,when he talked on stage during Dayao...)
that was rather exhilarating...
  
His love for music is genuine.
Not just to show it off, but savour it even though when no one listens.
Just look at the way he plays his guitar.
If thats not passion, then I don't know how you rate it anymore.

He shows his affection naturally.
After being with him only I realized,
I was after all as shy as any other girl in love.
(which I thought I'll never react like this in my life =.=)
Good thing he is kind enough to take initiative... 

I know to some people,
it seemed like a fast ride for both of us.
But no matter what people may say and judge,
the decision falls into our hands.
Whether we want to take it a step further or let it be,
its up to us.

There are so many examples out there,
but in the end, we decide our own future.
I cant live based on other ppl's opinions and views alone.

I'm a newbie...
or maybe a noobie.
But I believe as long I put my trust in him and God...
we shall overcome the thorns and stones ahead.
I'm not alone in this journey.

People and the world may tell you
things will get worse as time goes by...
... ...

But I believe that
we will get better and better in time. 
I heart you,silly guy! 

Friday, March 4, 2011

Rhythm of Love

I cant tell how much I'm in love with music...
It's like a best friend who understands your every thoughts and emotions
It's like a sweet kiss upon your lips...
something so irresistible and addictive...

Since joining Da Yao ( a song composing unit at my university),
I've learned so much in my music life...
never once I played,sang and dance along with so many music gigs out there before...
and learned so much about music and its beauty...

Some inspired me to be a better musician,
savour every detail of every note...
They showed me how to listen to songs
and worked together as a band/team.

Some inspired me to be a better singer...
to sing with dynamics and emotions....
to convey the meaning and message of the song...
not just merely a tune that spreads out from your tongue...

Many inspired me to share and care...
As we all know, sharing is caring...
Through others I learned to share my knowledge
(though I'm not that pro after all....XD)
and also to sincerely care for one another like a family....

I've really enjoyed myself in this family of music...
we all come from different backgrounds, shapes and sizes...
but music is the main reason we are all together...

Yeah we will face conflicts,
ups and downs...
but I do hope everyone is moving in the same direction and one heart...
that is to share the passion and wonders of music.

As in the lyrics of a song I wrote:
" So no matter who you are, just listen to the rhythm of love"
Truly everyone is different and unique in their own way,
but the same passion draws all of us in the same family...

I'm glad I've made my choice to stay back in Malaysia...
Seems like God's way is so much better than my own way....
I believe Yao Lan Shou is gonna be a huge stepping stone to reach for my dreams in the future...
and there's just so much to learn and offer back!!

I hope I made a difference here...
and hopefully I've blessed someone,somewhat, somehow....


I've always thought the moon out there is rounder and brighter,
but this time maybe I was wrong... =P