All the LOVE

I have all the love I need

and I'm blessed indeed. 

But why are the arrows and bullets

getting the whole out of me?

I have all the love I need,

so why am I always circling around,

vultures who's awaiting me?

Oh Lord,

open my eyes and ears

to listen to my own heart...

and not the honeybees...

I have all the LOVE I need...

let's keep going...

What are Above the Clouds?

What are above the clouds?

Nothing shining

What are above the clouds?

Cotton candy

Right here above the clouds

My thoughts are rolling

Right here above the clouds

They're building my dreams

Dear Mr. Pilot

Take me off ground

Dear Mr. Pilot

Land me safe and sound

Right here below the clouds

My thoughts are limited

Right here below the clouds

They're building my dreams

In and out of the clouds...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wrote this song when I was on the plane back to Malaysia...

I remembered a best friend of mine used to tell me how she love to just sit and look at the clouds from below

and then I was watching from above...

The beauty of God's creation is beyond words...

During my trip to Taiwan,
I had some set backs while trying to pursue my music career. 

Facing rejections and "lessons" must be really normal in the working world...

as it is so competitive.

I'm not hating the experience of being rejected by great teachers,

infact I actually am thankful to be exposed to the market at this time...

At least I have an overview of what it will be like once I wanna do this full time.

I believe there's a place in the back of our minds...

we dream about whatever we wanna be...

But below the clouds, our actions and thoughts are limited.

Yet somehow this dream kept us moving on in life

To listen to the song: What are Above the Clouds

Hope this could be an encouragement to the ones who listened
or maybe...just a nice pat on the shoulder kinda feeling.
=)

Satisfy My...

Satisfy my soul

Warm windy wind

Satisfy my soul, 

won't you?

I am on a float,

head stuck in the clouds

Someone bring me back to ground

I am waiting     for you

to come around

And bring me back      to earth

Oh you'll always be there by my side

So I guess I'll find my way to you

Satisfy my

Satisfy my

Satisfy my

Satisfy my soul... ...

Sometimes people just hear, they don't listen

Wrote this song 2 days ago...

Mainly because I'm feeling very tired and loathe the demands there are from this world.

It is a realistic and competitive place

all of us know this fact...

and I guess this environment has shaped us to the person we have become today...

Many times they say

"Do whatever that is true to your heart"

"Be yourself"

"Do not care of what they might say"

Really?

Really??

I do not have the answers...

'cause I'm searching for it too...

Initially I took their word for it.

But then, they didnt took my actions into account.

There isn't anything I could offer them, it seems...

I tried to satisfy their souls,

but then... ...

... 

...

We all know the fact that we should not build our satisfaction on others...
but often times, I failed to not care of what people might think about me....

I hope people could just give me a nod,
a pat on the shoulder,
a hug,
a smile
a whisper saying " Thank you for your effort"

But the more I'm entering the "real" world,
the more I realized, people dont say thank you that much anymore...

"Where do I go?
Where do I stay?
Where can I find myself again?"
-------Where do I go by Relient K

I'm entering the final year of my studies.

And seriously, I'm terrified what may come.

Where do I go? What can I do?

For now, I can only hold on tightly on God's promises in my life...

what He has promised me since two years ago...

Maybe I can't write songs that could get people to bang their heads to

or dance around like Justin Bieber (0.o...seriously you wanna use JB as an example??)

But I hope I can find a platform, for me to sing songs for people who needs healing...

for those who are lost.

ジョセリン  がんばっくてください!!

=) 

Better Get Drunk With More Coffee

Gloomy morning

The sun is dimmer, maybe

I wonder why bad things happen to me?

Come on, lady...

Pack up all this nonsense

Keep the negativity out of your skin

Because

That's ok, 

The sun will still shine big

Upon our faces

Hook on a smile and face your day...

And if your friends don't speak

Just leave them be

There's more yet to see

The day will still move on

So why won't you be happy? 

End of new song.

And look at my emo face

Company is on a one week holiday

Yay for some people,

but I didnt took the time to go to further places in Taiwan.

Why??
1. Typhoon came (bummer)

2. Tickets were sold out

3. Trying to save money

4. I'm just finding excuses to cover up my foolishness...

It's been pretty quiet lately...

not literally but...connectively I guess...

Cultural and hospitality differences...

I guess I'm not VERY independent to be left out alone

and do everything on my own for good.

Well, if you know me well,

this really isn't how I prefer to be...

 If you can survive
1. Not being able to do what you love
2. Closed up in many situations, only being told last minute
3. Ignored
4. Faced with hard brick walls after countless of initiation to bond
5. Receiving "We'll consider and let you know soon" responses while you were trying damn hard to get to know others by asking them out...
6. Home alone 9 days...

Well, then you're much a better me.
I guess no.1 and 3 killed me the most.

This shot took me few attempts...proud of the outcome *lovin' it*

Oh well, its really not for me to judge or have a say on anything here..

I'm just a passer-by that might not make a difference...

I'm trying hard to find a place and trace to fit in...

Maybe I'm just too keen to be one of them...

Maybe it's better to be "independent" and leave things out of it...

and just mind my own business...

But really...that's not how I roll.

Think of the good side...

this gives me plenty of time to write, talk to myself,

and have a little "me" time.

And it's ok if I keep hitting into brick walls,
'cause I'll just trying until I meet a wall that's willing to open a door for me...
=)
Still keeping my hopes up.

Or...

Might as well, get more coffee

to drunk away this pessimistic feeling...

What Happened On the Brunch Table

When life gives you lemons, 

you turn them into lemonades...

When Taiwan gives you typhoon,

you turn them into plenty of time to kill...

Need not to explain too much, 

Typhoon came, 

plans to indulge myself in Starbucks failed,

so the best thing to do is sit and home 

and COOK.

Bacon, bacon, bacon...I repeat, its bacon, no beef bacon! 

This toast taste x100 better than Gardenia. =P



Have been into cooking lately,
that's because my house in Taiwan has a kitchen! 
Compared to outside food and hostel cafeteria ones,
home cook is da best! 
And one does not need much skills to cook something edible. 
I'm no pro in cooking,
I just like to "mix and match" in the kitchen. *winks*
Now who would like to try my home-cooked food??


Being here in Taiwan,
being a part of Teenagers Performing Arts League (TPAL)
I've been learning alot.
The culture, lingo, history...not to mention weather....
There are so much to appreciate,
and at the same time,
travelling made me learn to treasure my own country more. 

LOVE, even though when it's hard.

P/s: These are events that took place on the brunch table...

I can't see my title...

Facebook killed almost everything else on the web...
haha at least for my case it is...
I seldom blog like I used to when I was a teenager...

Wait...I was?

Damn~~

Anyways, it's super hot summer night here in Taipei. The hotness is unlike Malaysia's...here it makes you hot and sweat uncomfortably, and sticky sticky all the way. *Rubs off "daki"* HAHAH!

Went to Warner Music of Taiwan today, I know I made a big deal out of it in Facebook, but then....I really couldn't help the mix feelings inside me. It's that kinda feeling when you feel like crying but then no tears coming out ...= /

The story was like this:
I saw Mr. Guan (Malaysia's renowned producer/lyricist) posting on his status stating that he's in Taipei too. So, without expecting much of a reply, I still left a comment asking where he was. He then invited me to visit his company anytime. I was really shocked and excited about it. Imagine visiting Warner Music...I might meet a celebrity or who knows to my mayhem kinda imagination -- get a record deal??? *trolling in my dreams*

So, I took the trouble to go to the office. It was an hour's journey from where I worked to that place man...its like travelling from Kelana Jaya to Setapak, to and fro....haha. Good thing, Taiwan provides awesome public transportation, it was not that hard to find the place.
Then I was greeted sceptically by the counter lady. She really looked at me with a noble questionable look on her face. I could imagine inside her mind "Hey fanatic fan gal, this is not a ticket selling booth you know? Get back to your fan club..."
I really have mayhem imagination. She got me started.

Anyways, I called Ah Guan sir, he need to personally come out to let me in because the lady really didnt want to let me in! She didnt even wanna listen to my lousy nokia phone with Ah Guan sir on the line. Wth...=.=''' So arrogant.

SO here's the juice.
I got in. Yay for the 1st step.
Sat down with sir there...and to my surprise, he was there to talk music(business kinda music)
Wow great, I wasn't prepared with any demos, all I had was rough demos in my Ipad. He listened and thought I wasn't that ready yet. So he went talent hunting, infront of me!
Wow. Painfully honest man.
It's not his fault though. I was to blame too.

I guess he had second thoughts to sign me too.

So he kept asking me who else can write songs...etc
I still willing gave a few names...and he dug into it.
I'm glad that some of my friends gain recognition from him,
but in the same time, I was deeply impacted.

I saw a reality.
A harsh one.
If you don't work your butts out and deliver well, someone will be at the door step to take your place.
That's the case in this industry. Competitions are BURNINGLY FURIOUS!
And I felt the heat now.

Before this, I was still living the la-la-land life,
thinking that I can take my own sweet time to produce my own music.
Write whatever I wanna write.
And maybe one day someone will just discover me and turn me into something overnight.
That's what those sucker tv series teach us...and I bought into that lie.

High-rise-dream, I shall conquer you someday...

So, it was definitely a wake-up call for me.
I know before this I was kinda defensive when people (who works in the industry) pointed out that my songs  needs to be modified etc...
I thought that I know my music the best...
But it isn't how things roll here.

As a song writer, we gotta be open to any suggestions and advice. Change when necessary. Or else, you might loose a good chance.

But then there were motivational moments...sitting there having a chat with Ah Guan sir definitely motivated me somehow. He said " Who said that you have to write music to sell? You just need to write good music"
Haha...He showed some demos to me too, and it was hell of a crazy competition going on.
So motivation no.2 --> need to UP my game in doing my demos.
Motivation no.3 --> write songs everyday....like literally! My role model: Wu Jia Hui

Well, for those who read till the end here, congrats for surviving through this boring whiny post. Hope you are inspired somehow.
I am still in the shocked and depressed mode here, but I know I have to keep going on and improving or else, I'll just squander in self-pity and go nowhere. The world doesn't wait for us to pick up ourselves and slowly get back on our feet. We gotta keep up.

Thank God for a wake up call and a great chance. It's not like we could have the privilege to troll around Warner Music's office and get starred down by leng lui counter lady. Right?

I'm very much blessed. =)

Really didnt had the mood to take pics, so this is the one and only memorial pic I have for this journey. May I not smile like that the next time ( I believe there will be a next time)

Malaysia's Customer Services Needs Some Upgrading to Do!!

Yesterday,
on a sunny, not-too-hot-to-kill-you kinda warm day...
I took quite a troublesome journey to the Taiwan Cultural and Economic centre in Menara Yayasan Tun Razak, Jalan Bukit Bintang. This is because I have to do my visa for my upcoming internship in Taipei for 2 months starting July.
It was quite a long walk from the Bukit Bintang monorail though, tiring actually. haha...

Anyhow, sweaty and hot, my friend and I arrived at the office place.
And lo and behold, I was greeted by a lady in the counter with a sour face. As if she ate more plums than any of us does...
And as ALWAYS, being so insensitive to such early "warnings" emitted by this lady, I wasn't aware about what's the come next.

(Lady in red, and I'm in blue.)

“文件呢？都拍好了吗？” (where's your documents? are they well arranged?)
“好了”
“你没贴上照片，2张” (You have yet to paste your photos, 2 copies)

So I went to glue my photos on the documents, but I was kinda blur that time, plus she was giving vague instructions, I glued 2 photos of mine on the application form. Passed back to her...

“tsk, 小姐不是说贴在这里吗？！而且是贴一张而已！”
(tsk, miss, haven't I told you to paste it here?! And just one photo is enough!")

Guys, I'm not freaking kidding when I put the "!" mark here in the dialogue, cz she was literally raising her voice at me. Its the kind where you didnt do your house work when you're supposed to, then your mom would storm in your room and yell at your in an increasingly loud volume...as if someone is gradually turning up the volume in their throats...or lungs...or chest...whatever)

Truly I was shocked by her responds, cz that is really unprofessional. Yeah I know I did a mistake, quite an annoying mistake, but I'm the customer here and that is how you Taiwan ambassadors treat us? I feel that there is a rude attitude there. Clearly I was mistreated.

Blah!
Do you know what's the worse thing? I freaking didnt do anything to respond, but just stood there and go "oh ok...",
then couldn't-carelessly pluck out my ugly passport photos and stick on the counter table...

Silent protest I might call it...hehe.

And if you think this is only it, WELL WRONG!

I was be greeted by other unfortunately bad customer service events in Pavilion KL. The salesgirl in The Body Shop couldn't careless to look at me when she knew about my RM50 budget to get a gift for my friend. I find it rather discriminating. You might think I'm overreacting...but girls generally has the instinct to know when they are in the "kena stared down zone"...

Then in SASA, a salesgirl asked if I needed assistance. Though I did not intend to buy anything, I asked her to recommend a good liquid eyeliner so that I budget for one soon. She was tactical enough to show me around, then went straight to the point

*holding the liquid eyeliner, ready to send to counter*
"Anything else you wanna purchase,miss?"
"Owh, I would like to consider about it first."
" Is there ANYTHING else I can get for you?" *with the same starry-scary eyes again like Body Shop gal*
"Erm, can I look around first?"

The next minute, I could see her rolling her eyeballs while turning her back on me. It was still fine, I had met with so many such experience, where salesgirls treats us like their lil ignorant sisters who just wanna learn make up, as if we dont know anything. Ironically, I met quite alot of such examples in SASA. TROLOLOLOL....
Then I could hear her gossiping about another customer, aunty customer who was few rows behind me.
This scene got the whole out of me. It has been a very very very very bad culture for sales persons or anybody in any profession to react such a way to their clients/customers...not to mention infront of other customers....It's just plain rudeness.

Just like recently the PR fail incident of Paradigm Mall. (No i'm not trying to promote it..haha)
Even if the customer is annoying and disturbing, the management can't just screw people off like that (especially when the whole conversation is open for the public to witness)
Aiyooo...

save your time for something than bitching other bitches...*opps*

Not that I'm prejudice towards salesman/salesgirl or whoever related in such line, but I've gone through many unpleasant customer service such as this. I just hope I know how to respond well but then make my defence poisely without shrieking or ending up in a cat fight.

Is this the kind of culture in Malaysia? Where customers are intimidated by the salespersons and often they can't handle the rejection of the customers. Then they ended gossiping and bad-mouthing the people who dont wan't to buy their products/services. Clearly, Malaysia's customer services gotta UP their game more lorrrrrr.....

I've met with a consultant in London Body Management, who insulted my friend about us students being poor and undeserving of their services. Then when she met with another customer (rich aunty), she changed her egoistic attitude into an obedient puppy. Dramatic right? It was real life drama. *Oscar award for her please*

Having said that, sometimes I might fall into this category of people. Maybe not to customers but to friends and family. I'm glad THESE incidents acted as a good reminder for me. That is to NOT judge people or judge blatantly.

Quote from my friend, Malcolm, about judging:

We always say "do not judge a book by its cover", but everytime we look at a new facebook profile we'll automatically check out the photo section first. No photo, terus close tab.
Anyone check out the "about me" section? Or "favourite books"?

I am quite defenceless when it comes to such confrontational discrimination/judgement...sighs. All I usually do is write a song about it and sing those bitterness away. And not to mention, discuss with Mr. Gorian. Haha...he'll always enlighten me with funny comments and responds. Sometimes how I wish he'll be by my side when all these things happen. He'll probably blast the salesgirl's mind off with his consultant arguing skills. XD



What would Jesus do if he's there with me on the "crime" scene?
God please bless and extinguish their fiery hearts......



 and mine.

Factory of Faith

Ever had a feeling that you might be most capable of something,
yet its the thing that you want to do the most?
That moment of believing in the odds?

I'm standing in that cross road now.

It's not always easy to accept reviews/comments/opinions from others
which questions your ability to something that you die to accomplish.
Especially when it contradicts to your heart's desire...

Of course from a 3rd person's view provides a wider prospect,
as a Chinese proverbs says "当局者迷，旁观者清"
(literal translation: person in the situation is blur, while people outside the circle sees the big picture...)
In other words, the person involved in the issue has a more subjective view,
while the ppl standing outside might have a clearer/objective POV...

But it's not entirely true. Sometimes, in some situation, only the person involved himself knows what's best and what's true to himself.
Decisions made my oneself may not entirely be rational...

So, now I'm in a situation where a decision is to be made by me...
I'm gonna be honest, I want to sing this shizz badly...
yet without needing to ask anyone, I knew the responds or reaction beforehand...

"Rock song might not suit you..."
"Your tone is more for ballads or folk songs..."
"It's pretty hard for you to pull a rock song well, cz you're pitchy and unstable vocally..."
"There are more suitable and better candidates to pull off this song..."
"You gotta practise hard then..."

Those comments are entirely true. I have a relatively soft vocal and I had some recent shaky vocals, that even a famous music director asked me to take up vocal lesson for God's sake...
I have some weakness when I sing high pitch as I may divert a little...and now i'm joining a freaking huge competition---finals, it seemed like a huge risk to take.
I might be jeopardize the whole song cz of my shaky vocals....

BUT,
that doesn't mean I can't improve.

From the statement made above, I was....infact I am thinking negatively.
A good friend of mine told me "Gotta think positively..."
I gave a cold laugh to myself....cz I know if I were to think positively,
the decision I'll be making is not gonna please everyone.

To think JocelynStemilyn kinda positively:

"Soft vocals cant sing rock song? Please refer to Desert Chang (张悬), Tanya Chua蔡健雅, Marie Digby and the one most people like to compare me to...Penny Tai"
"I'll find a guitarist to play for me, so I'll just concentrate singing"
"With God with me, who can be against me?"
"There are many better candidates, but no one knows this song better like I do..."
"Yesh, I shall freaking practise my ass off for the next 2 months"

It's pretty scary I know...
yeah I'm bipolar...

Am I making an irrational decision?
From a technical aspect, it might be...
From an emotional aspect, it might not be...
I haven't come to very clear state of mind yet,
but what I'm really clear deep down now...I know I can pull this off...

Trust me, I still doubt the heck out of myself...
(told you I'm bipolar...)
but still...gotta trust that little instinct inside me...

Maybe if a year ago, if I decide to sing this song,
I might welcome people to slap me and wake me up from my crazy desire....
because back then I know I was rocky as a wrecking ship...

But today,
I've learned and come a long way....
maybe 365 days doesn't seem long, but I've gone through alot of training.
I guess the most significant growth I've experience vocally is singing in Station One Cafe...

And yeah some people laughed the hell off at S1 singers,
cz it is perceived that S1 singers are lousy....
But personally for me, at least so far I've learned to sing LOUDER
with better projection and stamina.
During the 3rd week singing there, I realized the big difference
and I was astonished....

Why?
Not a big deal right?

Here's the thing, I've always been building my confidence upon other ppl's opinions.
Even though I know God loves me and made me the way I am,
and I've improved walking away from living under people's view of me...
Still sometimes this feeling still grabs the whole out of me.
And when it does, I get to held up I'll fall into a state of depression.

It is that serious sometimes.
Though so, I've also learned to accept criticism and absorb the constructive ones...

ANYWAYS,
back to this singing issue....
I must really thank ah Zau for being a great companion.
He doesn't pamper me with beautiful bombastic praises but he does provide me the reality check.
and supports me still.
It is hard at times cz we might have clashes of opinions but understanding his point of view,
I know what is to be done...
Practise practise practise.
and could have a back up plan.

To you this might be a teeny mini problem,
but to me it's a huge deal of faith to me.
As how much it's gonna test my faith, strength, belief, and etc....

Quote from Red Hot Chilli Pepper's song...
"I got a factory of faith"

Pretty obvious what decision I'm gonna make,
hehe...what a me...
If I ever stumble and fall along the way,
if everyone doubts me,
I shall look to the one who made me
and gave this talent to me...

For all things are possible in Christ
and I believe in miracles,
I believe in Him. =)
He is my factory my faith!

"Tell your friends, I got a factory of faith...."

Not Born Candy

Stucked, constipated

cant stop thinking about this feeling

Stares and all those voices

keep telling me to loose my focus

i'm falling off the ground

of my own identity

lost and wandering in this candy world i think i'm living in...

Circled by friendly enemies 

Spun around by invisible hands 

and all i feel is nothing, 

feel nothing

I'm no candy bar

wrapped in fancy paper and laces

all I ever wanted is to be asure

of who I meant to be

Even when I'm not born candy

learning to love myself more

Dayao 2012 - The night of birdie superstardom

OK! So after all the older birds had shared their "peelings" about this glorious event. I too, as the younger bird would like to tell ma story.

Just in case some of you dont know, Dayao is an abbreviation for Da Xing Yao Lan Shou Ge Qu Fa Biao Yan Yi Hui (大型摇篮手歌曲发表演绎会)...and we members of YLS like to call ourselves Birds...you'll understand more as u read along...*chirp chirp*

 *

*

*

This year we named our concert I--Sync

cz it sounds like I-Sing

and we also want to express that we share the passion for music and performing with others.

So we synchronize our passion together...
(wow,what a way to put that...)

It took us approximately 4 months to prepare this event.

Being in the committee this year is a whole lot of stress compared to last year

where I was a fresh-innocent-nothing-more-to-do birdie

Ask all those who've been through their 1st years in Dayao...

it was like carefree, spoon-fed, 自由自在times...

because the senior birds would provide us the directions.

But yet this year 

I gotta take up the spoon to feed new birdies.

Dont get me wrong,

I've always wanted to snatch the spoon and feed myself.

haha

but it's a whole lot of hard work and brain cracking.

So its not as fun and easy.

In the whole process of meetings, dispute and solving matters,

I've come to realized that I've grown alot.

Through the struggles between ourselves and among other birds

there's so much human-relation homework to be done.

I'm not saying that I can graduate as a HR degree

but I've definitely learned to be more "slick" in handling issues with humanssssss

YESH, HUMANSSS

Would like to touch a lil bit on the opening act of the night,

if you missed it here it is:

Dayao Opening Act

I never ever in a gazillion years knew this would actually work.

Before this, we had some struggles with the dancer head, Pauline

as she had already choreographed a dance routine for the opening which kinda clashed with our initial plan.

So to solve matters, the singer group decided to give in.

We were thinking of slow rock, instrumentals...etc

but none of us seemed enthusiastic enough to fulfill it.

Until one day,

Zau shared a link of a guitarist playing Party Rock Anthem.

It gave me a confident push that we could actually do this! 

and I imagined a scene with accapella to start with...

In my imagination it's an awesome plan!

So I gathered the musicians and we all agreed to do this song (as it was our initial plan muahahaa)

But then we had a problem....not enough time.

Eventually we only practiced like 30mins in a band room.

and the accapella singers did like a few runs only.

And it doesn't seemed like a good plan anymore.

PLUS,

the dancers never worked with us before...it was all separated.

The nerves were coming in and I got all angry-birdie.

On the night before show down,

I finally got everyone from dancer,singers and musicians to gather up

it was tough cz all are exhausted and some facing exams...

So I gave a simple dance routine for all to follow.

It was a mess...

Some even suggested to just let the dancers shuffle.

But I stuck to my plan.

Not trying to brag,

but this is my side of the story.

Sure I would love compliments and praises of how great I've initiate the plan

but I wouldn't be able to done all this w/o the cooperation of everyone.

I've never been confident directing/leading something...

although I LOOKED confident

I've always have a "i'm just kidding" or "没有啦，讲罢了" punchline in the back of every sentence.

But that night when everyone listened to my instructions,

I was almost in tears.

Its like finding back that piece of confidence which I've never had.

So, thank you all who were in the opening act for trusting me

and giving your best shot.

Clearly it was a great success 

and the audience went crazy.

I know its best if we did our own compositions or less dances...

but I felt it was the most appropriate way to kick start the night...

Something that the audience can relate and party together,

Something that was rarely done,

where all of the dancers,singers and musicians just dance-out their nerves for the night.

remind me of high school musical:

we're all in this together....=.='''

It wasn't just a warm up for the audience.

It was a warm-up for all the performers, committee and myself. 

And one more song 

is non other than 纸船 (paper boat)

I've written 6 songs in this concert,

but this song though I have the least participation in it (originally by Cloudfly)

but it meant alot...like ALOT.

I've learned so much throughout the jamming process.

All I wanna say is,

when I was on stage singing this song,

I really felt like flying.

lolz

For those who saw me live,

I totally enjoyed every bit of it.

I knew I was gonna dance around the stage (though it wasn't a nice dance eventually)

so I took off my shoes and went bare footed.

and it symbolizes freedom

Yun fei and Jason,

Thanks for being such awesome seniors.

You guys taught me alot in music and tolerated with me when I didnt actually do my homework...

haha

thanks for believing in me. =) 

The only regret of that performance,

was that I forgotten to thank a special person on stage,

that is Jesus Christ.

cz without him, I wouldn't get the inspiration I have now

and wont be in this wonderful family and opportunity.

He deserves a big credit!

 Paper boat 

Throughout the dayao process, I've found a bunch of people 

who I could carefreely express myself and BE myself.

Cz they really accept me for who I am 

and have been true friends.

Too many people to list down and thank...

sorry if I did not mention you...you'll be in my heart =P

Superman ah Tiu

You truly are a superBIRD. So touched with your ability to withstand all these pressure and burden. Thank you for showing me what is real determination. If I could, i wanna give u a big hug now! XD

Tee Cherli
Touched by your art work. I love it to bits! Thank you for working so whole-heartedly.

Multi-task Hazel

Got to know you more this year, and I gotta say it again, you've improved a gigantic lot! Love your openness towards music and i like your company! You also very sampat one lor...haha. Proud to see you shine on stage.

Trista

Thank you for silently sticking to yao lan shou. =) I've always been grateful for having you.

Jessikakakaka

You make me feel warm each time seeing you. There's like a motherly lovingness emitting out of you each time i see you. Thank you for the hardwork

Raee 

"Lyn ! Lyn ah!" lolz...i secretly like that nickname though. (opps~) You shined more than anything this year. You listened to Farouk's advice and took it on your band. Good job! Keep improving! When wanna do cover??? lmfao

Carmen 笑

Same like your sir name, beneath you there hidden a siao person. hahaa...who likes to 笑 in a funny way. You have a pure heart and doesn't mind helping others. W/o you constantly reminding and posting stuff, i think the production group might have missed alot of things. And your singing is incredible! Love you to bits!

Man Fee's Xin Yi

You another one with pure heart. lolz. Touched by your hardworks. Its not a nice feeling when you're often forgotten as the producer of this event. But I'm glad you stuck up to your responsibilities and I give u credits for it! You're truly Lil Miss Sunshine and you had your moment too. =) stay true to who you are！

Louisa

My roomie says you look like Faye Wong. lolz. I've always been fond by your firmness in making decisions. Hope you could keep it rolling. haha. There are times where I felt that you've went out of focus but I'm glad you made a great job holding this post, its not easy! Thank you for backing me up too. =)

 Moh Theng HAH!!

Frankly, i'm jealous of you! You've grown so much in arranging and your skills. I believe you could be greater in time to come. You are also another innocent in heart gal, who prefers ppl to say penis rather than ****. So straight to the point and honest. =P Love your company during those stressed moments and all those nights of supper and chitter chats...phew!

BABY Guo Jing

haha! Though we seldom hang out and summore separate bands, but you've always give me this carefree feeling. haha. I'm impressed with the way you handle your band B. You guys did a perfectly well job. Every song was at its potential. =) Continue to write songs too!

Pauline Kpop

My bro kept saying u looked like Ga-in. hohoho. haha. At first I was pretty stressed out wit your determination to not change the opening dance. I considered you stubborn. But then, your point proved you right! I was impressed with the dances, and believe me I got all teary eyed when I saw your performances. It spelled hardwork. Sorry for my misconception though. Keep it up!

Japheth's YaShan 

I was dreadfully expecting myself to be the actress of 台北的街 mv! But then I have to shoot it so...yeah. ahah...but you did a fantastic job. I was like wow all the time I was shooting you. You have a photogenic smile which could make ppl stop and go WOW. ahah. You're a great person to hang out with. (japheth too...=P)

Bojio Cher Wei

I'm so happy for you as you finally redeemed yourself! I know there were some who doubted you, even i myself did. Yet your hardwork paid off! Keep the singing fire burning. Start writting more songs yeah =)  Thank you for always being there.

My partner in crime, Ying Chao

Zabor!! Your lyrics are getting better and better. Thank you for being so inspiring and supportive. Though we dont usually hang out but I love the connection between us. (Sampai buy same dress,aduhai) And i'm glad that you have the chance to shine in your own style this year. Hope we can write more songs in the future. =)

New bird Seng Zhi

You are a very talented guy. Thank you for coming back. =) 

Jared crazybird

You shocked me and impressed everyone of the night. Love that fire burning in ya! Thank you for being the next ah foo...in a more pop way. opps~

Raymee fierce-face-but-soft-heart

So grateful to have you in my band. You are one great talented drummer. Hope you could get a new set of drums soon! And keep improving,you'll be great! Thanks for being patient with me and sticking up for me many times. And though we had some dispute before but your openness helped to  put our friendship back together. Willl definitely miss you!

Jason handsome-japanese-face-but-strict-guy

Do I have to say that you are awesome? Awesome in leading the band and having all these ideas in your mind. And all your hardwork listening to diff kinda songs and creating something your own. Indie rocks! This will be the last last time we find u for help lar. Thanks for all the great experience. Hope to share more moments with OIC throughout my music journey. =)

Noah
Omg, you are the Jeremy Lin of UM! I rmb when I wasn't so sure about your bass ability...i was worried. But then when you came in and did your thing...you blew me away. You have a great gift and i hope you'll continue to use it for God's glory. =) hope you'll stick with us next year! 

King of all birds Mi Zen

You are like a daddy already lo...upgrade liao. XD Seriously I'm very touched by your love for yls and willingness to join in the young bird's nest. HAHA. no lar, just that you are very 亲民, like Lim Guan Eng. omg what am i talking about? Thanks for constantly reminding us stuff and giving us the space to grow our wings. =)

Chili padi Pei Wen

You dont say much,but you're always there! Thank you so much! You're like a big sis. =) And I've always love the way you dress. teehee!

Malcolm and Pou Pou

Thanks for all the great pictures and company. Know that you guys are busy with work/master, but taking time to do mv and take pics for us, thats awesome! I've always enjoyed your company and humour =)

Siang Xi

You ar....so strict. lolz. Thanks for teaching me alot about music and composing. I've changed alot of my perspectives and learned from my mistakes. I guess you're the few who always listens to my raw compositions eh? haha...Thanks a million!

Xinyi's Man Fee

You've improved! Too bad its your last year. but keep the guitar fire burning! Its time to write songs for xin yi! ahhaha

Neng See

You know, I almost cried when i saw you playing the drums back in Seikan's band room. You've played so much better. and sang greater. lolz. Someday i'll see you on tv? and maybe Rock corners?

Jie Yao

At 1st, I really sipek tak syok you de...Always comparing us with USM...but then when getting to know you in band C, I've come to understand you more. And you're actually not as bad as I thought. =) Hope we can work together soon. great stuff  u have there.

Keen Long & Daryl

Know that you two are busy yet took the time and effort to join us. Thanks! Love hanging out with you guys...yamcha more together...haha

Young birdies (you know who you are =P)

Keep it up ok!  I can see you all are a bunch of talented ppl! keep improving, upgrading, whatever it takes to be better. Keep the passion for music =) (gosh speaking like a mom)

Kenny 

Glad that you shined too this year and unleashed your R&B vocals! Happy for you! thanks for all the reminders and care for us younger birds

Kar hui

Thanks for all the effort you put in. All the travelling and fetching. It's time to change to a better babe yea? heheh

Cynthia

You are like a mom. lolz. ok...stop that. Same thing, you've been like a big sis to us and you're actually very funny! I'll still see you around next year right? XD

Ming Liang and Winson (and crew)

A big THANK YOU! and one more: You guys are incredible duo of adobe after effects genius!!

the Productive Non-production group (mandy, shinyee,danny,ken,jolynn,milo,my,peixing....)

Thank you for sticking to yls and you guys did a great job. Like seriously. Couldn't be more impress that ever! Hope to see you guys around next year. =) 

YB Wong Cung Zau

I guess if all of the world doubt me, 

you will be the only one who will stand by me

Thank you for countless nights talking me through the hard times and praying for me...

Love you to pieces! 

OMG....my blog so long dy. So long winded.

Its not the end for all of us. Our music journey wont end at Dayao as well. 

This is just a lil spark in the flame thats about to come!!

There's more to learn and more to be discovered.

Nothing much but gratefulness in my heart. 

We owned the night. =) 

After this superstardom night,
I know I've stepped a lil closer to my dreams.
Not just mine, but His.
God answered my prayers in the most humorous ways.
Just when I thought I would be in the west,
He placed my in the most humble place --->UM.
Just when I fantasized of singing in the streets of New York,
here I am starting off with a bunch of birds.

I know one step at a time,
I'll get there in no time.
=)

photo credits to:

Choong Fai

http://zeonchao.blogspot.com/2012/04/um-i-sync.html
and Grace Teoh

V-day (vol.2)

MORNING PEEPS!
*yawns*
Am in a very excited mode right now,

happy and grateful...

(Never felt so motivated to write a blog before...)

*sneaky sneaky*
Warning: this is gonna be a slightly long-winded post...but i guess gals love details and guys love the big picture...and i have both....so...XD

Anyways, let's get straight to the point, 

it was Valentines day yesterday and yeah, 

I had a blast!
It wasn't as "grand" like last year...

with all the dramatic U-turns to Port Dickson,

tryna fly a kite in mid night but failed,

yet oh-so-sweet confession valentines...
 

But I must say...

Mr.Rocker never failed to pull a trick out of his hat. 

It was expectedly unexpected!
*ironic I know* 

So let's rewind things back...

.

.

.

.

Wasn't feeling the Valentine's mood to be honest,

'cause like what HE said

Valentines day is sucking your money day! 

*true though*
I wasn't looking forward for candle light dinner

or bouquet of roses...

But I did look forward for a surprising and excited evening.

And like a hokkien saying:

"要大便才来找厕所"
describes me best.
It was 15 minutes before he came to pick me up, 

baru I panicked to decide what I wanna wear,

should I make up or not?

When I chose a black blouse, Miss Lau Chun Sia even sarcastically commented:

" You nak pergi hiking is it?"

LOLZ...
Roommie Mei Yi kept persuading me to wear dress,

even to the extend of pleading me to be more lady-like...

*guys, now you know more or less the chaos going on in a gal's bedroom*

IN THE END...

I just chose to wear a long cat-printed shirt with snake leggings...

Well since Zau is Mr. Gorilla-Lion,

why can't I be Miss Ca-Snake?
=P

Same as last year, he was late by 15.5mins,

but this time no surprising rose delivery to my door steps.
It's fine. *clutch fist*  

=)
Pulled down the passenger seat's mirror, 

No card fell down to my lap...

Zau gave me a cunning smile...

It's fine too...*sharpens knife*

 =)

All I saw by then was a packet of Twisties in the back seat.

Then, he handed me my camera left in his place few days ago

and then no more...

I was like: "takkan?????"
But then when I opened up camera bag,
there was THIS welcoming my very sight:

(yes, that's the Tina Fey Bossypants underneath...lol) 

He wrote:
"...recently listened to a great sermon by Pastor Kevin. ' Blue Jeans and Pink Sandals'..." 

I went ROLF!!
WHY??
1. The actual name of the relationship sermon is " Pink Heels and Blue Jeans"!
2. He was sweet enough to find a card that actually has blue jeans and pink SANDALS
3. He glued the sandals on his own.

Summore got love drawings from a rocker...

The rest of the details are P&C...
=X

After the laughs and jokes, 

he popped a question:

" So, what we gonna have for dinner? Tony Romas, Pasta Zanmai or Carl's Junior?"
In my heart sreams "CARL's JUNIOR!!!!"

But then to be more "valentines",

I said, why dont we go Pasta Zanmai???

But then when we went there, the counter person told us they were fully booked.

And I dunno why both of us were smiling widely to each other 

and happily headed to Carl's Junior...

It was our 2nd Valentine's date in CJ's...

So last night we officially declared CJ as our fav V-day spot. 

Baru kali kedua sudah syok sendiri sangat...

Somehow there are so many great memories between us in CJ...

Portobello Mushroom burger is my ultimate fav!
Look at 'em fries, slurp!

*the HULK bf*
"Dont snatch mine or I'll give you the fatal punch!"

Sweet enough, he remembered my favourite side dish,

ONIONS...muahahahah

See, its juicy enough from the pictures...what more when it enters your watery mouth

and starving tummy??
*paradise*

CJ...faster find me to be your ambassador! 

*pleading*

Too bad they were out of tea...

or else it would be double paradise. 

And I bought him a V-day gift!
Tickets to Avril Lavinge's concert!
Since her concert is on 18th Feb, 

which is also our 1 year anniversary, 

so this gift serves as V-day and anniversary gift...

一举两得...hehe
He was reluctant to receive it initially,

but with my sharp and intimidating stare, he "gladly" accept it.

See how he is blushing after getting it...
*evil gf grin*

SO,

last year he took to me Port Dickson...

I was thinking where else this year?

PUTRAJAYA!

One of my fav spot to be away from the hectic city.

According to Zau, they had their festival lights on last night...
So it was really a nice view there...

plus it was so quiet and peaceful there...

Cant get a nice view while we're under the bridge.
Paiseh...
The bridge changed colours randomly,

and while I was snapping pics,

Zau was observing the light systems
and every technical things that has to do with his electrical profession.
I love that quality from him actually...职业病 at his best...
*passionate man...i mean Gorian*

Imagine lar...its like going overseas 

or being somewhere else in Malaysia...

LOL...jokes.
But I do felt very different whenever I come to Putrajaya,

cz the streets are so NEAT (tak berlubang), 

and CLEAN.
Hardly found any rubbish on the ground, 

and even the street lights and traffic lights so artistic ler...

Got curves and designs...

unlike the mundane looking ones we see everyday. =.=
How I wish everywhere in Malaysia could be so nicely designed.
with all the façade and landscape lighting...etc
(saje nak show off technical terms learned from him)
=P 

Ok ok,

enough will all the dreaming and imagination...

and after all the walk walk and talk talk...

(macam orang tua tua sudah....)
We left the bridge cz too many ppl...lolz.
*sneaky sneaky*
He apologized for not preparing any presents,

and I actually bought into his lies...

*slams head*

Yes, I was disappointed and a lil grudgy 

maybe cz he did such a great job last year and this year was like down the sea in comparison...

(GUYS!! Better dont do so well initially, cz when the next year/time comes, 

you'll have to live up to your standards...ahahhaa)
But when we stopped in a quieter place,

he gave a sinister smile and said:

" Actually I got a gift for you lar, it's at the back" 

0.0  

Then you can imagine, fist and punches to his face.

(figuratively...not literally)
Proud of his success to fool me,

he pulled out this red-wrapped box to me.

He said it's breakable...
I was guessing:

Glass accessories?

Glass souvenirs?? (mind think too straight)
SMART PHONE???

Then, to my freaking surprise

.

.

.

IT'S THE AUDIO TECHNICA AT2020!!
 (for those of you who dont know, its a recording mic!)

I purposely dont wanna edit this pic cz wanna show you i was so touched till I struggle to take a nice pic
*denial XD*

Gorian awarding the ultimate gift to me!
He's in teary eyes...=P

For some people, you might think I'm being a lil too overreacting or high profile about this matter...
But for what you might not know, 

is that I've been craving for this since quite some time.

Last 2 weeks, while I was gonna  get the USB version of the AT2020,

I was 3 times stopped by the CK, SMX and Search Music sdn bhd salesman...

I was advised to buy a recording interface first then the mic with integral 3-pin XLRM type

(I'm also in my baby steps in this technical matter >.<'''')

Imagine coming this close to getting something you want,

and yet realizing that you're rushing things too fast

and there's a few steps to achieving it...

summore its all about the money money money...

(fuuuuyoh)
I was kinda desperate and down that time...

cz it's gotta take a few more months of saving up before I could purchase this babe...
And before I knew about this gift,
I spent away RM200 of my mic savings to buy Zau the concert tix...

So you can understand that in my heart I was having a lil battle.

But I couldn't bare to leave him alone at home for our anniversary. 

So I thought the mic could wait...

Ironically...

there it was, in my hands.

Freaking insanity to take in at the moment. 

He told me that this mic is part of realizing my big dream,

and it will be a blessing to people and myself.

So he invested and gifted it to me.

There was no teary eyes back then (now abit...)
but a great big smile on my face. 

To know that he spent RM 4xx on this shizz...

and all the trouble to get it...

wow...I felt so overwhelmed and grateful. 

(Tralalalal!!!)

To have someone sharing the same faith,

same vision 

and passion

is something I could ever ask for from God.

And they all come in one package...

Mr. GORIAN WONG CUNG ZAU!!

I suka giler you!

V-day,

yeah its money sucking day...

but it's also a day of pleasant surprises...

a special day to feel special again...

Who says it's overrated for the love-birds?

It is if you blindly fall into those commercial tricks...

V-day

was a time for me to flash back what we've been through the whole year,

the UPs and DOWNs,

Meows and cows...

and how on earth we got together in the 1st place? 

I'm blessed and grateful to find not just a bf,

a bff

but also a soulmate..

someone who knows me better than I do myself,

someone who loves the things I love doing,

someone who doesn't doubt me even when everyone and myself does...

an amazing guy who stands so firm for me...that I know I have a great friend when I'm in need.
and the list goes on enough for me to write a new song!
.

.

.

V-day vol.2,

not much sugar rush like last year,

yet sufficient amount of sweetness to make me get a tooth ache again.

Quote myself from last year:

"I believe 

that we will get better and better in time"

http://jocelynstemilyn.blogspot.com/2011/03/my-first-love.html

I heart you silly Gorian!!