R.I.P my friend

I really cant take this in.
He was once a close friend.
someone who knew God...someone who had hope in his life...
but now he's gone.

Just a few minutes ago,
in the midst of laziness and laughter...
Sean called " Zhong Cai has committed suicide. He has passed away."

I was like " what?!"
I didnt care whether ppl in the lobby was looking annoyingly at me that moment...
I just...hope it was all a joke.

But it isn't

Instead of the immediate depress or break down...
I was later filled with guilt.
So much so much guilt.
He used to have truth in him...
and now he might lost what that is eternal...

Man,thinking about this makes me feel like shit.

All he might need is a friend,
a crying shoulder,
a listening ear...
I know I'm sounding like a hypocrite right now...
but, I'm depress.

I just wish I have better words to describe myself now.
......10 years of friendship...and it just ended...like that.

There's just no time to waste.
Nothing we can do to change the pass.
He's gone for good.
All I can do now, is to make sure ppl around me doesn't end up like him.
and they'll get to find out the truth.
That great love for them that is yet to discover...
its just so sad some people dont see that.

There's just no time to waste.