In You, We See Light

This post is gonna be a lil long...bare with me... =P

This pic makes me smile...

weird...

I make myself smile...lol

But true.

These few days has been an awakening

moment for me.
I realize how much I neglected the lost souls,

how insensitive I am to those who dont know the truth...

how ignorant I am to care and love for others.

I was living a selfish life...

everything was about me and my dilemmas...

.

.

.

Just a while ago,

I joined the City Harvest Church midnight prayer meeting...

it was such a precious and beautiful moment with God.

I felt so close to Him.

God was doing alot of healing in me.

I realized I wasn't fully recovered from the depression I had few months ago.

Through zhong cai's incident,

tonight I suddenly understood why he ended his life.

Why he reacted so abnormally before his death.

I was in that exact position as him

4 months ago...

I was breaking down...wanting to end my own life...

I knew what it is like to cry so hard

till you just cant stop laughing at your own stupid self...

I know what it's like...

but I'm really really grateful

that I have Jesus Christ in me...

without His words and presence with me...

I would have ended up the same.

I remembered that night,

sitting outside the balcony of my bro's room...

feeling so hopeless....

truly thought that my world is hopeless...

I wanted out from this life.

But ironicaly, I was very aware that this life is not for me to end.

Miraculously, God sent his angels to the rescue...

it was Eu Wei.

Out of 300++ contacts in my phone...

the only person I could get through was him...

the line was so bad, i couldnt get to anyone at all..

He was the right person at the right time.

Eu Wei started trying to take my mind off things...

asking me questions and stuff.

Then he just listens patiently,

seldom comment, infact he encouraged me with scriptures from the bible.

Later,

I was meditating on psalms 36 for the next few days...

v7 " How precious is your steadfast love O God!

the children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings."

v8 "They feast on the abundance of your house,

and you give them drink from the river of your delights"

v9 " For with you is the fountain of life;

in your light do we see light."

In Jesus,

we see light.

The world we live in today is so dark,

so full of evil.

But we still have hope in God,

which is something that always amaze me...

this is something I'm so grateful about.

How I wish all my friends could share this delight,

joy and hope with me.

I wish they could see that Jesus Christ is the only God,

awaiting to embrace them.

Just now during prayer meeting,

as Pastor Kevin asked us to read any chapter in the book of Psalms,

I just randomly turn to a chapter...

and how coincidently...it was Psalms 36.

Again.

I was like WoW.

For with you is the fountain of life,

in your light do we see light.

God is reminding me...

that incident I had few months ago

and my friend's incident...

wasn't just something that wasn't suppose to be...

Like what dad always say:

"There's no such thing as coincidence...

but the will of God."

What I've gone through

is a tool that I could use to help those who are going through

the same thing as what I'd gone through b4.

and that I should care sincerely to ppl around me

especially the outcasted.

You never know whats going on inside a person's mind.

With the experience I had,

I could understand what they are going through

and help them out just like how God pulled me out from that drench.

I'm just so grateful for today's prayer meeting.

Grateful for being alive,

staying alive...lol.

Thankful for life

and what an awesome God we have.

May this post be a blessing to you all out there =)