When Will I Ever Learn???

I just dont know what to say....
I'm feeling down and if I post something emo on facebook,
dad would ask me to be more private, friends would further think i'm an emo person,
and he would...maybe not give a damn.

So, I'll just blurt things out in blogger.
Whatever you wanna say about me...
I jus wanna get some release of my feelings here...
so skeptics....back off...

I'm tired of caring about what others might think...
what I say might affect them...
and I have to constantly talk with caution....

I know I sounded a lil selfish here...
but I just hope... I could speak 100% my mind out...in a good way.
I'm just not the kinda person who can put word beautifully in manner...

When I like someone I'll just tell
what's with all the hide and seek games?
When I dont feel nice about something,
if I cant tell it straight to that person, somehow no matter how hard I try to cover,
the disspoinment always slips through my eyes...

Oh when can I stop being such a hipocrite?
when can I learn to speak my mind out...CLEARLY???

When, can I learn that crushes are hopeless
and they meant to make u clash and die hard inside....??