Johor,here I come...=)

Fishy fishy in the lil aquarium...

After 12 hours of bus ride...this is my
tired-looking face...heee

Tututututu...

Aquarium...hmm..

Oh well,there's no turning back now...

It's all or nothing...hehe

I'm sure God has he's plans for me in this i-youth venture

and I'm so excited to be able to do something for Him and just focus on Him for the next 3 months!...

It's gonna be tough yet,I'm so gonna enjoy it...

Yeeeehaa!

Melodies and Lyrics

Here are some songs I personally treasure and love,
Not only the melodies are great,the lyrics are also very meaningful...

~Celine Dion-->Because you love me

"You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believe
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me"

~Colbie Callait--> Realize

"If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now."

~Rie Fu--> 2cm

" cuz our love is deeper and believer of the sea
cuz you’re the waves of my ocean
you’re the waves of my ocean
so come and rock me"

~ Rie Fu --> Life is Like a Boat

"Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along,
Who’s gonna comfort me, and keep me strong?

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on coming and we can’t escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves would guide you through another day"

~Shania Twain-->From This Moment On

"From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you"

~Plain white T-shirt-->Hey there Delilah

"A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
And we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way"

~Relient K-->When I go Down

"You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
you touch my heavy heart, and when you do you make it light
as I exhale I hear your voice
and I answer you, though I hardly make a noise
and from my lips the words I choose to say
seem pathetic, but it's fallen man's praise
because I love you
oh God, I love you
and life is now worth living
if only because of you
and when they say I'm dead and gone
it won't be further from the truth"

~Norah Jones-->My dear Country

"Twas Halloween and the ghosts were out,
And everywhere they'd go, they shout,
And though I covered my eyes I knew,
They'd go away.

But fear's the only thing I saw,
And three days later 'twas clear to all,
That nothing is as scary as election day.

'cause we believed in our candidate,
But even more it's the one we hate,
I needed someone I could shake,
On election day."

~Norah Jones-->I DON'T miss you at all

"As I sit and watch the snow
Fallin' down
I don't miss you at all
I hear children playin' laughin' so loud
I don't think of your smile

So if you never come to me
You'll stay a distant memory
Out my window I see light doing dark
Your dark eyes don't haunt me

And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm touch of your hand?

And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm tough of your hand
As I sit and watch the snow
Fallin' down

I don't miss you at all"

And some of the songs actually are talking about what i'm feeling now...
There's so many more...but just to share a few...
hope u guys like it...till then,
*cheers!*

Leaving On a Jet Plane

All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin'
This early morn
The taxi's waitin'
He's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could cry

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go

......

Leaving on a jet plane

I'm leaving Perlis so soon...
so soon that I still could not imagine how near it is...
Though it's just 3 months,
I"ll be back still,
Yet,there's this fuzzy feeling...
a kind of reluctance feeling in me...WHY?

2 more days to spend
2 more days to blog...
there wont be any time for internet anymore...
for we(Campus Crusade for Christ's trainees) have to be devoted for almost 24-7
I'm not sure whether we can get online or not..
but the sister there did not sound polite when I mentioned the word
"INTERNET"&"ONLINE"

Gosh...
I"m so gonna miss my blog...
though this blog is kinda cold at the moment...
Still...*sighs*

Funny,
cause when I'm aware that I'm about to leave
this song(leaving on a jet plane) just kept playing in my head...
went to download it and listened to it...
and...SNAP! Just felt like crying

I know I sounded a lil crazy or emo
but...yeah...
I'm very emotional...

Dont know what to expect,
dont know what to hope for...
all I know i'm going there purely by faith
Cause it's a total new environment,
new people,
new experience...

And my financial needs depended on other ppl
and not wholly on my parents
so I really have to learn something back in return...
especially to the church.
Kinda stress yet excited about the whole training programme...

and also it's a time for me to shift my focus away from
you-know-who
haha...who knows I can just forget about him...=)

Well guys,
I'm leaving on a jet plane...
oh i mean bus...=P
Gambatae Jocelyn!!!!

Talent Show {23rd Feb}

With Wei En

















Playing the piano...

It was the 23rd of Feb
Chinese society had their talent show in Taman Budaya
I performed in the modern dancing and played the piano.
Seemed excited with all the preparation, make-upz, hair-do,lighting...etc
still, there's this empty feeling inside...something empty which initially i couldn't tell.
Until when we talked about it...I realized it was the satisfaction feeling which was missing,
not just in mine but many other's hearts.
It's not that i'm trying to complain about the staff not doing well or what...
I guess it's the number of programs,which was not as much as before.
But the bright side of it was there's not much to be taken care
and less frustrations right?
Safely played and still well done!
Bravo Yee Huan and Xiao Jun.

Coming back to the topic,
there's a lil less emotions this year...
no one shed tears and the satisfactory feeling wasn't that strong.
maybe I paid less effort and involvement in it...
Less drama
Less heart-attacking moments
Less nerve-wrecking incidents
The feeling of accomplishment was lacking there...

But WAIT!!
there was one thing that was worth the tears...
that was the Group Singers.
I remembered when we were hugging and congratulating everyone on stage,
it was ok and not much of emotions
Until I hugged Wei En,the director for the group singing.
I just felt so touched and that hug was so real...
not just a mere hug for the sake of hugging
but in it included gratitude and joy!
Though I did not really trained in the group singing,
but after the teacher-run-away incident,
my mom,wei jian and her took up the tutoring,
and they trained the whole group every day after school.
Could really see their determination.

Some people might had given up ,
but they continued to work things out...
and I'm so glad to be part of this group of people.
Initially we thought this group singing would not be as good as 2 years ago
as most of the singers were form1 and form 2 students.
and they were shouting instead of singing with their lungs...
but...according to the previews I got since yesterday,
they were one of the highlights of the nights and people actually thought they were better than the previous year!
hehe =)
they are just so cute people although they get on our nerves so many times
I guess they saw the hardship my mom was going through,
no wonder they did not give up instead sang better than before.

and that run-away teacher...
I really thank her
for without her running away,we might not have the great perf like last night.
haha....
i guess people actually strive harder when there's circumstances or hardship.
right? =P

Another one was the modern dance.
which i was very much involve with.
Nothing much to tell about the dance and practises process,
for it was rather relaxing all the time
I guess because of the passion I had for dancing,that's why it was never a burden to go practise with them.
Infact, it was an enjoyable time for me.
Plus,those group of dancer are really nice people to be crazy with.

I love to watch the girls dance,
for they all had their own styles and attraction.
I love to joke and play around with the guys,
for they are such cheerful and witty people...

I love to gossip around with the girls
though it's not good to do so but they are so good at that.
I love to teach the guys when they are in need
for they had this sincere and humble heart to learn.
which makes you feel so please.
haha!

And as for Kah Sheng,
the dance instructor plus dance partner,
really hope he can develop more in this area
for he really has the talent and gifting.
Dont waste it Bro!

This talent show had been going on for 15years..
or maybe more than that?
I'm not very sure...but it's been long enough
and I really hope this will continue to go on
because many talents had been shown and discovered through this event
and many students actually discover their talents through this...
like I discovered my talent in make-up too...
HAHA =P (long live youtube!)

so guys,
continue the hard work ok?
As long i'm capable,I'll definitely help out.
Dont let the fire die down.

After 17 years>>{my make up experience}

Ready!

After...

Before...

Now...
Here's the story...
It was the during night of Feb 19th
I was lying on my bed,
thinking of the dance performance we are about to present the next day.
Than I remembered 2 years ago,
during the similar stage performance I'm gonna present
they were short of make up artist that they actually neglected my make up,
and the worst thing was that I was the MC for the night
...great...
I appeared like a pale grandma on stage
*i was wearing a Chinese traditional dress*
so I kept thinking of finding a personal make up artist
or maybe friend who knows make up

...think think think...

"If only I know how to make up..."

"...that's it! Why not learn by my own?"


Excited lil girl got up from her bed
went to the PC>>Youtube

<<How to look great in 5 minutes>>

Fantastic!...
all I need now is my own cosmetic!

The next morning...
went to Guardian and Watson to shop for some,
and I spent RM200 just on 6 items...
Gosh!
no wonder all the cosmetic companies are making big $$
Just a small pencil (or should I say eye liner =.=)
cost about RM20...
well...what to do?

Neway,
after my make up "rehearsal"..we went to get ready for the show
Initially I was just making up for myself
but I ended up making up for the whole group...
about 13 other people!
Though it might not be as good as what we see on TV...
still there's a sense of satisfaction...
at least my $$ was not put to waste right?
God really blessed my hands...lolz!

Gonna do better for this Saturday's big show...
Gambatae!

Finally
After 17 years
I can now say that I know make up
*pss...a lil*
=P

Satisfaction in Christ

Oh God
you are my God
I earnestly search for you
My soul thirsts for you
my whole body longs for you in tihs parched
and weary land where there is no water
You unfailing love is better to me than life itself
How I praise you!

Psalm 63: 1& 3

Lately many friends had been telling me about the dissatisfactions of life
and the fear of emptiness in their lives.
Reading this psalms deeply touched my heart to pose this here.

Yes,you may find satisfaction in studies,games,internet or shopping...etc
but all these wont last long...
After days,months,years...you will come to a point that you'll feel that emptiness again...
and you'll be finding other stuff to fill you're empty heart...
Many fell for drugs,gaming,wasting time and money on celebrities...

I was once some one like that.
I thought I could find satisfaction when I'm with my friends.
Hanging out, joking...
Still,they'll be leaving someday
they also need time on their own.

Only God can satisfy out DEEPEST longings
I cant really explain how He does that
but every time I had this emptiness or maybe other problems
I know I can hide beneath He's wings
Its' like God will open up my eyes and let me discover that
actually all these problems were just so small
none of them are too big for Him to solve

Everybody has their own experience with Him
So,the way He approaches everyone differs

You might think this is another religious article by Jocelyn
Well,yeah it's true though.
But when you are facing troubles or doubts you cant handle
and no one is there to help you
Remember there's Jesus Christ with you.
He LOVES you even though you might HATE Him
No rituals,no 1,2,3 steps
Just pray to Him like you are talking to a friend

Oh yeah...just remember to talk with you're heart ok?


*cheers*
Jocelyn@Stemilyn

Simplify Simplify

"Our life is frittered away by detail......Simplify simplify!"

--Henry David Thoreau

Sometimes we just complicate our world with all sorts of thoughts and philosophies

Sometimes we should learn to be simple and pure,
like a child...




--> Simplicity is Beauty =)

Valentines Day>>Mission Impossible

Tomorrow is Valentines Day
Yay...
what a happy day for all the couples in the world
and what an envious day it'll be for singles like me...

LOL =P

Well, I admit I'm gonna be the envious one
still,
think on the bright side
at least i dont have to worry about gifts or how to celebrate it with my Bf right?
haha...this is called self-comforting
the Ah-Q-spirit...
*eyes roll*

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE #1 {definitely impossible}
We'll go to Danga Bay,Johor! Just walk by the beach,listen to the singers sing...aww...

reality>>Johor is 12 hours away from Perlis! =.=

MISSION IMPORSSIBLE #2 {still impossible}
Change venue to Penang,Queensbay! Nice place to lepak though.hehe...Have dinner in Sakae Sushi,then walk by the beach nearby the mall.*pss,hold hands*...

reality>>Penang not very safe lar...walk in the dark would only attract mosquitoes and worst of all -- robbers!

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE #3 {least impossible}
OK,how about my hometown? Perlis is nice.Cheap and convenient,hah! Well,1st of all go cycling around the paddy field behind my house,then have dinner in Su Guan Villa (fooyoh),then go seaside walk in Kuala Perlis!...gosh...

reality>>NO boyfriend...*sob sob*


I'm such a desperado.
oh well,so much for the fun.
i'm actually fine about it...just hoping for a surprise tomorrow..
HOPEFULLY

Happy Valentines Day guys!

Apologize

You apologized
for not calling me the other day

You say you forgotten
...it's ok

I expected that

No ones to blame
but me
Blame it on my absurdity for falling for you

Now...
Starring at the phone screen
...hmm...
What to reply you?


"oh it's ok, i'm fine with that"
nah,too fake

"well,call me back now then"
nah, sounds demanding

might as well just not reply
yeah...

But you know what?
How i wish i could tell you this:

"It's too late to apologize"

Modern Pirate

*sob sob*
my baby sun glasses...spoil dy
one of the lens came off...
it's all my fault for being careless

well,
neways,
I thought this could be the modern
version of today's pirate!

yeahaha =P

God >>> the artist

These are from my grandma's garden
Makes me so calm just looking at it

Snap it with my camera,
paused...
starred at it...
...smiled =)


I also acknowledge that
God is such a talented painter...
Great artist

With You

Pick me up
Lift me up
Lord only you can mend my broken heart

Fly me high
into the sky
Give my wings so i can be set free

With you
I fly higher and higher

With you
Nothing shall I fear

With you
all things are made anew

With you my Lord
there is nothing I cant overcome

Lyrics and song by>> Jocelyn Tan

Getting tired

In a relationship,
when one keeps giving
and the other keeps receiving
and do nothing in return
the one who gives will get tired one day...

and fades away


Hey guy,
I just wanna tell you


I'm tired....

Funny CNY shopping

Just came back from my last minute shopping with mom...
All of the sudden Perlis became such a merry and crowded place!
Before this, The Store was like it's normal days,you know,a few customers shopping...etc
but today,it's jammed and packed with people...a rare sight ...u can really say it's once in a blue moon.
=)
and the highlight was,we went there not to shop for food or clothes...
but for lingerie...=.=''
It's rather embarrassing...for me personally
Maybe bcz i dont like to shop for such PRIVATE stuff with such crowded condition
and almost everyone there knows you...(especially your mom is the famous teacher in town)
HAHA...just felt like a theft trying to steal something out of the house.

"May i help you miss??which size are you?A?B?..."
Obviously i'm not a C cup...lolz...
"Err...i'll check it out myself...thanks"

Picked a few bras which were the LOW PROFILE ones...(meaning no cartoons,or laces or what so ever)...looked around and rushed into the changing room...rushed out and before I could get to the counter....

"Hey,Jocelyn..."
OH NOOO....it's Ai Juan

Trying to be cool,I smiled and chatted
with the bra behind me...gosh...
I cant understand why I was so embarrassed? She's a girl too...she undersntads right?
Cant believe i'm such a paranoid over lingeries!

Mom was like laughing at me all the time...
Well,I learned that next time when we wanna shop for lingerie
Do not shop for it during the eve of CNY...XD
and do not shop for it in Perlis...cz you could be easily recognized..
yeah....trust me...=)

Happy CHinese New Year guyz!!

WELCOME....

Welcome to my new blog
my secret place
Away from the busy Friendster market
I hope to post more here
as there's some limitation in the friendster blog

Hope u guys would come and visit me
have a cup of tea (or Chinese new year's cake)
and leave a comment...

May this place where i could share
my lil secrets with u guys...=)
Shh...