When Will I Ever Learn???

I just dont know what to say....
I'm feeling down and if I post something emo on facebook,
dad would ask me to be more private, friends would further think i'm an emo person,
and he would...maybe not give a damn.

So, I'll just blurt things out in blogger.
Whatever you wanna say about me...
I jus wanna get some release of my feelings here...
so skeptics....back off...

I'm tired of caring about what others might think...
what I say might affect them...
and I have to constantly talk with caution....

I know I sounded a lil selfish here...
but I just hope... I could speak 100% my mind out...in a good way.
I'm just not the kinda person who can put word beautifully in manner...

When I like someone I'll just tell
what's with all the hide and seek games?
When I dont feel nice about something,
if I cant tell it straight to that person, somehow no matter how hard I try to cover,
the disspoinment always slips through my eyes...

Oh when can I stop being such a hipocrite?
when can I learn to speak my mind out...CLEARLY???

When, can I learn that crushes are hopeless
and they meant to make u clash and die hard inside....??

What A Merdeka Day [Part 2]

So...

right after Broga Hill, got invited to join Caleb and the gang on another merdeka outting.

Little did I know, it was actually a photography class!

haha...

But before that we went to grab some roti canai...

which was really good...

like...one of the best I've tasted so far...

too bad there was no pics...

we were all hungry...

ANYWAYS...

it rained! which was such a bummer....argh

so we rode in the car around and around and around the city...

(and the round about for 3 times...thanks to Caleb)

In the end, we decided to go ....

IKEA

And instead of exploring furniture...

guess what???

we played did our photography class there

and played monopoly deal.

.

.

.

What??

yeah...this is how you should react.....=.=

But it was fun times....haha

maybe cz we are all funny ppl???

While Wen Sen taught Robin and Caleb basic photography 101...

Silvia, intensively into her bejeweled game...

click click click....


Then we started out monopoly game.
It was my 1st time playing a card game of it...
very refreshing and interesting.
BUT...I was surviving the game rather than winning it...
guess my heart was somewhere else in papers and ink.

Did some sketches and drawings.
Somehow in a situation which seemed weird and mundane,
I found inspiration =)


Hunting for a place for dinner...
while the guys got carried away with the cams....
I had a great time catching up with Silvia...

She's like a big sis...
we have somethings in common too...eg: we love Criminal Minds!! =D
Most of all, she's someone I can relate to and not feel intimidated at the same time
=) some elder ppl gives me the creeps sometimes...

She's cool =P

Snapped by Caleb...
lol...nice pose there....

I wonder does all photographer really dislike appearing on pics?

Snapping everywhere!!!
even inside the eCurve...but its a norm...
You snap me, I snap you, he snap you....
what a camera love triangle. =D

Finally we settled down at Popeye's...
my husband's restaurant!
haha... =P

Even during dinner...
snaps and monopoly frenzy continued....

... ...
oh boy...what can I say? hehe
*
*
Though we didnt get to go somewhere bizarre or picturesque to snap pics or hang out...
but...it was a fulfilling day....
aiseh.
I had a great time of fellowship with Caleb, Silvia, WenSen and Robin.
Somehow....hanging out with them was different.
I dont know whether it's a compliment or a complaint...

I clearly just felt...like its not what I usually experience
while hanging out with other friends.
haha....sounds kinda creepy saying that...

Anyhow,
I'm grateful and delighted.
The whole 31st of August was a different experience,
a out-of-the-cliche way of celebrating it...
I felt so "merdeka" in me...

Most of all,
despite all the negativity around me,
I'm still thankful to be a Malaysian.
Malaysia is a great country.

Pray for our nation!!

What A Merdeka Day [part 1]

August 31st...
Malaysia's 53rd Independence day...

Well, as far as i could dig my memory,

usually my 31st of August would be waving flags,

shouting, singing the same old songs every year,

marching...and aerobics...=.=

But this year was different.

1. This is probably my 1st time celebrating this away from Perlis

2. This time I was NOT actually celebrating it...as in, im not specially prepared to celebrate it.

3. Quite alot of "1st times" happened in my life...(including the top 2)

Waking up at 4am in the morning! Which was something so rare for Jocelyn to do...

but I just jumped off the bed, feeling so energetic...ready to conquer Broga Hill!!

So there we have, Charlie and Rachel talking along the way.

KL suddenly seemed so peaceful and AMAZING without the hectic jam...

.

.

.

So, as we reached there, we started walking up the hill.

It was pitch dark and we could hardly see a thing...

good thing Grace brought alot of spare torch lights,

or else we all may end up crawling in the dark XD...

.

It was crowded with ppl.

1st time I ever experienced climbing a hill with such crowd. I thought ppl hated to exercise???

HAHA...met some seniors there too...=.=

.

.

Good thing with all the drama muscle training,

I climbed with ease throughout 3/4 part of the journey.

When I reached the 3rd peak, I was quite exhausted. More like...hungry than tired. lol

I felt like staying there for good and wait for the sunrise....

but I suddenly remembered something in my previous devotion...

"Where we are may not be a bad place, but we know its not where we're suppose to be"

So...with a lil of the "kiasu" spirit in me, I decided to finish The Climb...

haha...and waited for the sunrise...

The sunrise...not a great spot but this was my best shot.
I was rather encouraged when I realized alot of Christians were there to pray for our country.

Broga Hill can be the Malysian prayer mountain! yeah...

We live in a very fortunate and blessed country....its important we bare the burden to pray for our country.

Liz watching the scenery...

it was breath taking

Going downhill was definitely easier

and more relaxing...we can still sing and move around like monkeys...

Reciting poems from Shakespeare and what not... =D

Later it was BREAKFAST time!! oooh lala!

Maybe I was damn hungry....

so this pao tasted like HEAVEN at that moment.

Not to mention my fav....

Half boiled eggs!!! yummy!

That moment was like...paradise!

like angels were singing in my mouth...wooo

Just feel the taste of slimmy fresh egg slipping into your throat,

uhhh, mammia!

Despite how much I dislike the many system in Malaysia,

still, it is a very different country...

We were raised among different cultures,

our adaptability is better than other mono cultural countries out there...

Thus its not an excuse for us to say that

we dont know how to reach out to those who dont know God.

Wherever we go, we are able to relate to the 3 largest religoin groups of people in this world...

Islam, Buddhist and Hindu.

Prayer is a powerful tool.

I believe if we continue to pray and reach out,

Malaysia will become a blessed nation.

my day doesn't stops here...there's part 2!

Starbucks,its all your fault

Question:

Where do I gain the energy to be so hyper?

how come I can stay so bubbly and "drunk" all day...?

Ah...drunk is the word...

Answer:

COFFEE...

(craving for starbucks again!! >.<)

In You, We See Light

This post is gonna be a lil long...bare with me... =P

This pic makes me smile...

weird...

I make myself smile...lol

But true.

These few days has been an awakening

moment for me.
I realize how much I neglected the lost souls,

how insensitive I am to those who dont know the truth...

how ignorant I am to care and love for others.

I was living a selfish life...

everything was about me and my dilemmas...

.

.

.

Just a while ago,

I joined the City Harvest Church midnight prayer meeting...

it was such a precious and beautiful moment with God.

I felt so close to Him.

God was doing alot of healing in me.

I realized I wasn't fully recovered from the depression I had few months ago.

Through zhong cai's incident,

tonight I suddenly understood why he ended his life.

Why he reacted so abnormally before his death.

I was in that exact position as him

4 months ago...

I was breaking down...wanting to end my own life...

I knew what it is like to cry so hard

till you just cant stop laughing at your own stupid self...

I know what it's like...

but I'm really really grateful

that I have Jesus Christ in me...

without His words and presence with me...

I would have ended up the same.

I remembered that night,

sitting outside the balcony of my bro's room...

feeling so hopeless....

truly thought that my world is hopeless...

I wanted out from this life.

But ironicaly, I was very aware that this life is not for me to end.

Miraculously, God sent his angels to the rescue...

it was Eu Wei.

Out of 300++ contacts in my phone...

the only person I could get through was him...

the line was so bad, i couldnt get to anyone at all..

He was the right person at the right time.

Eu Wei started trying to take my mind off things...

asking me questions and stuff.

Then he just listens patiently,

seldom comment, infact he encouraged me with scriptures from the bible.

Later,

I was meditating on psalms 36 for the next few days...

v7 " How precious is your steadfast love O God!

the children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings."

v8 "They feast on the abundance of your house,

and you give them drink from the river of your delights"

v9 " For with you is the fountain of life;

in your light do we see light."

In Jesus,

we see light.

The world we live in today is so dark,

so full of evil.

But we still have hope in God,

which is something that always amaze me...

this is something I'm so grateful about.

How I wish all my friends could share this delight,

joy and hope with me.

I wish they could see that Jesus Christ is the only God,

awaiting to embrace them.

Just now during prayer meeting,

as Pastor Kevin asked us to read any chapter in the book of Psalms,

I just randomly turn to a chapter...

and how coincidently...it was Psalms 36.

Again.

I was like WoW.

For with you is the fountain of life,

in your light do we see light.

God is reminding me...

that incident I had few months ago

and my friend's incident...

wasn't just something that wasn't suppose to be...

Like what dad always say:

"There's no such thing as coincidence...

but the will of God."

What I've gone through

is a tool that I could use to help those who are going through

the same thing as what I'd gone through b4.

and that I should care sincerely to ppl around me

especially the outcasted.

You never know whats going on inside a person's mind.

With the experience I had,

I could understand what they are going through

and help them out just like how God pulled me out from that drench.

I'm just so grateful for today's prayer meeting.

Grateful for being alive,

staying alive...lol.

Thankful for life

and what an awesome God we have.

May this post be a blessing to you all out there =)

R.I.P my friend

I really cant take this in.
He was once a close friend.
someone who knew God...someone who had hope in his life...
but now he's gone.

Just a few minutes ago,
in the midst of laziness and laughter...
Sean called " Zhong Cai has committed suicide. He has passed away."

I was like " what?!"
I didnt care whether ppl in the lobby was looking annoyingly at me that moment...
I just...hope it was all a joke.

But it isn't

Instead of the immediate depress or break down...
I was later filled with guilt.
So much so much guilt.
He used to have truth in him...
and now he might lost what that is eternal...

Man,thinking about this makes me feel like shit.

All he might need is a friend,
a crying shoulder,
a listening ear...
I know I'm sounding like a hypocrite right now...
but, I'm depress.

I just wish I have better words to describe myself now.
......10 years of friendship...and it just ended...like that.

There's just no time to waste.
Nothing we can do to change the pass.
He's gone for good.
All I can do now, is to make sure ppl around me doesn't end up like him.
and they'll get to find out the truth.
That great love for them that is yet to discover...
its just so sad some people dont see that.

There's just no time to waste.

风筝

终有一天我会飞出这小框
不再留给自己任何遗憾
摘下原本属于我的智慧，理智
配上一双叛逆的翅膀

风筝飞多高都有降落的时候
随风的方向飘流
有你在我背后默默地支扶我
你是那风筝的绳子

风浪混乱的节奏
使我迷糊了双眼
我渐渐失去了
当初伟大的看见

有没有任何人听见
我呼唤的声音
有没有人能了解我这无助的困境
求你伸出你双手让我再次体会
被你爱的感觉是如此的美丽

我是那小小的大风筝