Sunday, February 28, 2010

Drown Me

So drown me in your ocean tide...
Drown me so I can hide away from this application complecation

Really dont know how to describe myself now.
I'm all mixed up.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Pic,Results and REHAB

Lil photo by the beach
2A- 1B+ 1B-
wow...i was just shouting "oh my freaking..." all the way
while I slowly opened my results paper.
It's satisfactory
Knowing that it might not be a great result to some at all...
but I dont care.
It's my life and future anyhow.
Apart from that,
lately I cant get my eyes off a very beautiful photo
It's not very right to call a guy beautiful
but sometimes...handsome just doesnt gives enough credit anymore...
or maybe I should use the word...stunning!
He may not look like Orlando Bloom
or the young Tom Cruise
but that simple clean style just caught my eye....
it's just simply attractive.
Too bad I hardly even know that guy... LOL
I really need to go to the S.A.D rehab!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Da Big Day

So it's wednesday...
and tmr is thursday which is THE DAY
where my STPM results will be out.

After 1 1/2 years battling with one of the hardest exams in the world.
no's no.2 hardest to be exact...
Tomorrow will be a day of accomplishment I would say
It's like the full stop for my form 6 life...


While most of them are shouting and screaming
their nervous anxious heart out...
I'm rather shocked to find myself...relieved and excited
Of course I'm nervous too,but more like...thrilled.

Funny... *smirk*

Looking back at what I'd done the past 2 years...
since the day I told myself that I will never EVER enter form6...
(but look at where I am now...*smirk harder*)
till the day I faced that horrible exam...
It's really not what I imagined at all...

God is just amazing.
He knows what is truly best for us.
I didnt regret getting into all this at all.
Instead I'm grateful for given the time
to rethink my future and improve my skills.

Instead of having nightmares or insomnia
It's gonna be an overwhelming night
Maybe I'll sleep with a grateful heart tonight

But why is my heart pounding so hard??
It must the coffee effect...


Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Inspiration {The Sundance Kids}

It's weird...not going out at this time
it's like I'd turn nerdy and isolated.
Lol,this is how a wild person will feel after quitting supper and night life for 2 days
Anyhow,this isolating self thingy actually got me some benefits

Discovered a music band--> The Sundance Kids.
Once heard of them a few months ago but didnt paid much attention
but out of boredom, got on to Youtube it...
and I was blown away.

Their songs are rather mainstream
just kinda wondered why they are not as big as Coldplay or Switchfoot
Saw them live playing a song "Stay With Me".

Lead singer,standing under red beams of light
untidy wavy hair,strumming his guitar
No cliche intros
He just started singing as he feels like to

And the crowd just swayed with him
and sang with him of course.
It just...blew my away.
Simply goosebumps. It's just influencial
I'd been writing songs quite sometime now...
Hope someday my songs can be inspirational
just like how The Sundance Kids inspired me
to touch souls and not just those record companies
I wish people who listens to my songs
not just get inspired but also have a positive thinking
and most importantly,
I can share my best friend, Jesus Christ
to the world.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

It's My Turn

Can you hear me
from the other side?
My heart is aching
and I guess no one could mend this heart of mine

It feels like my world is crumbling down
and you have no idea
how badly I would love to runaway

away from this pretty lil town
with all the slander,pain inside

So I guess it's my turn
to throw this shit out
To your face
It's my turn to walk away

No you wont break my heart
ever again
You're so used to hear my apologize
But this time it's my turn now

No you wont break my heart
I wont let you break my heart...ever
; )


I know I should not be feeling this way
wanted to cry but no tears
wanted to write a song but no melody pops
wanted to talk but somehow unwilling
All because
people around me are no longer trustable.
No one is sincere
No one is true to heart...
Everyone is so fake
So 2-faced
I really wonder what am I to them?
A party decoration just to make the place merrier?
An after-dinner gossip topic?
Or was I really the jerk all along??
So all this while what I cared so much
turns out to be a joke
What I did to save the relationship
actually made it worse
I wanna know the truth
I wanna leave this place and start all over...
it's exaggerating I know...but it's really what I wanna do now.
Get me outta this slanderous place
I need a hug

Friday, February 19, 2010

Breaking at the Cracks--Colbie Caillat

I think you took my heart away when you said you’re leaving
Cos’ right now I am hurting all over again
And I never thought that I’d be in this place its some mistake
And now I don’t know how much more that I can take

I’m breaking at the cracks
And everything goes black
It’s another heart attack
And I can’t handle that
Woo~ Love I need you back

I know that I’ll get through this
I'm feeling is stronger somehow
I got my feet back on the ground
And I’m turning around
And I’ll be everything you always said that I could be
If only you’ll be waiting right here for me patiently

I’m breaking at the cracks
And everything goes black
It’s another heart attack
And I can’t handle that
Woo~ Love I need you back

Oh whenever would I take you back,
My heart was filled with love
Then I wipe these tears and I will laugh
If only I could make it last

A beautiful song just when I needed it

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Tiny Lil Hands

I feel the sun shining straight
into my face

those lil smiles
gigles and laughters
just thrills my heart

Things had changed
and they are not like what's used to be
but still there's an innocent heart I see

I see...
lil cherry cheeks with big brown eyes
I hear
a sweet sing melody of a lil child
Tiny lil hands trying figure out why
this black and white keys are so confusing at times...

those lil kids may be very torturing and annoying
but in the end it's not them that chose to be/act/behave selfishly or other negative attitudes...
it's their parents and this whole society that is shapping them into becoming so exam orientated,rebellious,and worst of happy childhood...
this song is for them...hope to finish the melody soon though... =)

Friday, February 5, 2010

Abusion of Emo

Everyone has their downside...
where they'll fall,
and drench in self-pity

But have you ever think of
where will all this drama
leads you to?

So we let anger and sorrow
take over
the whole of us

Like jumping into fire
knowing there's pain
but we just wanna taste a glimpse of it...

They say I'm an EMO...

I hate that...

Dont tell me you are not one

when you simply point your finger accusing others...

If you ain't EMO,

you aint HUMAN.

Monday, February 1, 2010

The Truth

Its really ironic.I was suppose to post something EMO...
something very negative i would say...
cz i guess bitterness is filling my heart at these moments...
But at the edge of breaking down, I typed "I need something" on Youtube,and there I found Newton Falkner "I need something"
He's more of a gospel most of his lyrics are christian related...
still,his songs just captivated my heart instantly...
No doubt,he inspired me to write a song...
Most importantly, i felt God. This is no incident...

Frankly,I doubted Him.
I sorta hated the fact that I'm living in this routined fixed life.
You cant do this,do that....
I dont wanna live in rules and restrictions

What I didnt know that I was being selfish
I wanted to draw back..
step out...
Live life my own way

Then life crumples,a lil....heheh
I experienced hatred and anger and bitterness more than before...
There's just no peace,just anxiety
(whether I earn enough,going to US is just a dream,i dont deserve to lead worship,my talents are just mediocre,i'm nobody to my friends)
What im trying to say is,
Really without God...without His wisdom
I really cant pull things out in my life alone...

Many times,we thought,
oh I did this,I sort things out,
it was MY idea, the song I written....
It's always about ourselves...our superficial self...
What we didnt realize or often dont wanna admit is that,
He gave us all the wisdom to walk through the rain
He gave us that extra lift while our feet almost fell into dark abyss....
What I didnt realized is that,those so called "rules and regulations"
are to restrain us from falling into the wrong company's hands...

Whether we know him or not,
whether we love him or not...
He is there.
Like some may say, they believe there's a God,
just not religion...

Well,I know this God I believe in,
is definitely real.
Too real that even I cant see Him,
I know He is right beside me....
Just as now...
And this is the only reason I cant manage to leave Him.

I wanted to leave Christianity
I wanted to leave church...
and this thought was just minutes ago...
but when you possess the truth...
even a thousand lies cant shake your faith...

I may question
or thinking of not believing anymore
but at the end of the day
I'll be coming back into His arms...

Come Back to You

Its amazing
at the edge of losing myself
you just came around
and hold me

When I'm down
when everything is pulling me down
you just sing to me
a soft symphony

No words I can write anymore
it's just simply you I adore...

Wont you catch me?
wont you catch me?
No matter what
No matter how long
I'll always come back to you