Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Fallin for You

As I'm standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
And we start to dance
All around us I see nobody
Here in silence
It's just you and me
I'm trying Not to tell you
But I want to I'm scared of what you'll say
So I'm hiding what I'm feeling
But I'm tired of
Holding this inside my head

You know what is creepy?
Creepy is when a song sang by a big celebrity
actually speaks the hell outta you.
She just nailed every single word that describes you now...
That actually speaks about you.

and there it is "Fallin for you" by Colbie Callait...
Colbie,I owe u one

Bangkok Trip--Sawadika!

After my stpm,well you should probably know I went to Bangkok and Chiang Mai for a holiday
with my family and we were all excited.
So driving up to Hatyai airport and board a plane to Bangkok...
Singing and laughing in the car was precious moments we could ever had.
Peeking at air-stewardess,voting and rating who's prettier and with a better attitude,
sneaking more peanuts given by the air-stewardess because it tasted so good that we kept asking for more!!
HAHA...all this idea came from dad...if you think it's mine...uh huh.

Then we reached Bangkok
Throughout the whole trip we realized in Thai:
1. Ladies loves to use eyeliner and draw their eyelines upwards.Like cleopethra.
2. Traffic jam everywhere! but still less accidents compared to Malaysia's
3. Ppl are more conservative in their clothings,total opposite with our other neighbour--Singapore
4. Ppl there are CRAZY about Korean stars...Super Junior,Kara,TVXQ,Girls name it...their songs and mv are everywhere...especially "Sorry sorry"
5. Likes to ask "how much you want discount?" ,"what is your price?","if you buy many,i give more discount" when we go shopping even in SHOPPING MALLS.
6. Temples everywhere are normal sights...but even PALACE are everywhere! from season palace to 8th King palace to 9th king palace to queen's palace.
7. Ppl in Thai are very loyal to their king. Shame on us Malaysians....Sia sui
8. Everywhere we go,there we'll see His Highness pic.Till the point my sis and I will sing "here we go again" whenever we see his pic...and we sang from day 1 till day 6.Non-stop.

We visited Safari park in bangkok,watched like 5 great animal and stunt shows in one row!
Though everything was in Thai and we could'nt understand a thing,but the cute acts from the animals and stunt man were enough to capture our attention.
The most touching event would be the time we were waiting for the dolphin show.
This MC came up and start singing his heads off like it was his concert.Initially,I was thinking,
WTH? This isnt your personal concert dude...
then later he switched song to indian pop,asking the Indian audience to dance along. And immediately the whole indian crowd stood up and danced along! Everyone was so high till the next you know,even non-indians started dancing away on their feets! It was like an international party.

Music speaks no langguage or race.It connects and unites. That what's made me even more determine to continue my dreams.Hopefully,ppl will dance to my song a dolphin show. =P Haha

Then we flew to Chiang Mai.Mostly there we did alot...and I mean ALOT of flower watching.
Which was my fav! Going back to nature and this means alot of snip snap of pics!
We were escorted to this little and old setting hotel.Very classic and cosy.They served the best tomyam around. With the jazz band singing oldies on the background,wow....time just STOP.right there.
Funnily,the other hotel that we are staying in was also about the same theme.The oldies,classic kinda setting.It's actually an Inn,but a satisfactory one.

We then went to the night market which was very very long and big! Things sold there are more traditional and native.Handcrafts,scarfs,lights,deco,beads...all my taste!
Not the very IN kinda clothing. But me.HAHA...
But there was an issue. Bargaining. Uh! how I hate that because i'm a bad bargainer.
So what if I get less discounts than you can get? I just wanna buy something I really like.I dont care about the price as long it's not too over the top.
Yet,the nagging and limitation from my bro and parents really pissed me off. I cant even shop in peace. And facing the very robotic and well-memorized "What is your price? " lines by the locals,i'm just fed up with shopping in frustration.
How I wish Sean or Mr.Foo was there to kill prices for me.All I do is just SAPU SEMUA!
Well,I still get to buy some good stuffs though....look at the brigh side that is.

The next day we went to the one of the King's season palace.It's phenomenal!
Just to let you know,Chiang Mai's weather is like Cameron Highland's,so it's cool.
There were varieties of flowers and trees all around.It felt being in heaven's garden more than in a palace! Simply breathtaking.
The best part of the whole palace was the water resevoir. We climbed a long stairs with flowers along it and when we reached the top,there was this BIG water resevoir infront of us.
It's like a water fountain show. You just cant stop yourself to say "WOW" out loud.

The "miao ren" village was also about flowers and plants. We saw most of them still live very traditional lifestyles. Disconnected from the outside world.But things had lil more changed since it became a tourism spot.
I spotted a kid learning Thai and he looked so innocent and energetic.Diff from those in the cities.
and also a native guy who looks 80% like Lee JunKi...Joie and I gave him a 6/10 because of his middle-line hair out...haha!
If'll be an 8/10!! =P

Well,the Double Dragon Temple was...ok.Maybe cz we didnt spend much time there.
Very amazed with the whole spiritual atmosphere. Ppl are so devoted. Makes me wonder,am I that faithful and devoted to God? Considering that I'd slack in my spiritual life.
Standing in the enemy's ground,you started thinking of going back to ironic yet powerful.
We spent the rest of the afternoon visiting factories and of course,we never missed buying something out of there. =P

Joie and I went for mani and pedicure nearby the Inn.It was so pampering. Now i know why nail spa earn the hell outta ladies...You feel like a queen that instant
But the fun stops when dad and mom thought we were lost.They almost reported to the police and dad almost got knocked by a car. was a big misunderstanding.
Yet,we all got back together when dinner was served.HAHA...guess a hungry man is an angry when the belly is filled,the temper flows away together.

The highlight of the trip was the Elephant park.
Watching the whole elephant show was eye-opening and fullfillingly fun!
From the start,they bathe the elephants. Watching them dip themselves in the water,playing manja with the workers...haha...just so amusing to watch.
Then we watched how they dance,do the "sawadikap" post,blow the harmonica,kick football,shoot balloons...the best was the painting part.
How could they possibly train an elephant to paint trees,scenaries and flowers?? man...this is really freakingly COOL! and the paintings were sold as high as rm800. By elephants...hoho...
And we went to ride on an elephant,30minutes in the jungle. It was SWELL!!
so fun,rocky,shaky,creepy cz we may fall out's just pure fun.
Watching them eating,poo-ing and urinate like the pipe bomba release water...was eye-opening.


Last station was the world garden.
Another stop to watch flora...which was totally mind-blowing.
Look at how they design and decorate the whole place with flowers and trees...
Crazy...and breathtaking.
There's a Malaysia garden,but we were running out of time so we only stop at really awesome sights.
I just dont know how to describe it through words or gotta be there by yourself...
with a dxlr.HAHA..
Then we flew back to Bangkok. Had the best and worst dinner ever.
Best cz it was finally the real Thai food we wanted to eat. I'm not gonna lie it tasted awesome when we ate it...
but it was hell cz the 4 of us siblings had food poisining once we got back the hotel. The whole night,we puked and fainted on our beds
I couldnt even move a muscle. Puked infront of the hotel doors with 2 old uncles staring at me like i'm somekinda lunatic...what's wrong with puking?? Bother...

All in all...we had a great experience.
Though I may not shop till I drop like I desired to,but I gotta observe and experience the life of the ppl in Thailand.
What really impressed me was their love for their king.The respect and loyalty.
We watched how thousands gathered at the palace on the night of the King's bday and brought a phenomenal celebration.
The whole place was jammed and pinked. (pink T was the theme as a symbol of good health)
Imagine,when our raja or sultan was sick in bed.Some even wished him to pass away so that we can have an extra holiday...Teruk.

Most importantly,I get to spend precious time with my family.
How often more we could spend a holiday as a whole family? Treasure the moment.
Despite the conflicts or arguments, we all enjoyed each other company.

Oh well,anyone wanna join me on a trip to Chiang Mai someday??


Thursday, December 10, 2009

After the Big Showdown

Exams over.
How swell,how overwhelming.
I get butterflies in my stomach thinking
how I'm gonna spend this coming 7 months of holidaying...

The beach?
Mission training?
Facebook and youtubing?

But just before I could plan anything,
my december schedule are already exploding
with Christmas drama practise,bangkok family trip,yamaha music concert
and not to forget---Caroling!
Gosh,could my life get anymore exciting?

Oh yeah it will...
If I could really get 15K within 3 months
and get my arse to Perth
push my life to the edge of the earth...
Now thats what I call adventure.

Dont worry,
though things seems to unsure and blur
still my trust for God will continue to grow
and i'll hope for the best!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Just some rhyming...

Hey,it's been a while since last few weeks
Oh whatever who reads...
i'm not some kinda blog star or celebrity...
All I do is just write some shit out of me...

Stpm was rather shocky rocky

Alot of hard work and I still get dreamy

Dreaming about the papers soon to be...

All in all,it went on smoothly...

My long holidays are coming up

7 months I'm not gonna let it spill out my cup...

oh yeah baby I need to back rub

maybe I'll go to a spa to get my back's acne fix up

YWAM DTS here I come

yet still the anxieties never stops to run

I know I have to have faith but talking and doing it's more than what it takes

Will I ever get to Perth next January Tuesday?

Oh buoy,that's a hard "yes" I'll have to say

Was talking with an old friend today
about love relationships and marriage that are so gay
Oh,I'm still single by the way
19 years of life and I still haven't have the taste of kissing someone under the beautiful sunray
Oh well,guess I'm being desperate again aye??
You may think "Aww,that's what you desperados are thinking!""
You gals never get tired of soap operas and lame romance acting"
Well,you maybe right but i'm thinking
that I'm just being normal,my selfbeing
No need for anyone to start judging
I know I'll find the right kinda prince charming
just not now,it's really bad timing!

The bottom line is I know I'll find someone to hold
someday,somehow,somewhere I dont know
True love waits that I knowI know it's hopelessly silly and old fashion to the core
But I dont care Im gonna give my whole
To him I'll give my heart,my mindand my soul....

Friday, November 20, 2009

Faith & Abundance

It takes a small amount of faith
like the mustard seed to move a mountain

Being brought up in a Christian family
where we are programmed and trained to tell
the RIGHT answers

We know God provides
We know we have to have faith

is one heck of a big step of faith i'm taking
time to experience God and His abundance like never before!

Youth With A Mission Disciple Training School,Perth

Saturday, November 14, 2009


Its always hard to say goodbye
especialy to people that you may see only once in a lifetime..

I like to make myself believe that planet earth turns

I'm weird cz I hate goodbyes...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Little thoughts

It's ironic
often times I laughed and teases the lyrics in songs which I thought was...
overly dramatic.
But when you got into that situation,that EXACT situation
you finally understand why they wrote it that way

"'s 2a.m and i'm cursing your name,
i'm so in love that i acted insane
thats the way i love you"
The way i love you-Taylor Swift

"But you're so hynotizing
you got me laughing while i sing
you got my smiling in my sleep..."
Catch me-Demi Lovato

"something always brings me back to you,
it never takes too long..."
"you hold me without touch,keep me without chains...."
Gravity-Sarah Bareilles

...Just to mention a few...
there's so many more cliche and cheezy lyrics
but when you're in that particular situation,you could really feel and appreciate every song
that sings to your heart...

And i do hope the songs I write does the same
to someone somewhere somehow
in this big tiny world...=) my new song "Little thoughts" =)

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Letting Go

Letting go
it aint easy
Thinking too much
the deadliest flaw in me
When this two elements collide
you cant imagine how hyterical I'll be
Emotions run
high and low
up and down till it
made you head spin around like
you're in a never ending roller coaster ride
You think that you got this
you think you are strong to face it
but when he appears infront of you
your heart melts and breaks into two
cz he's not in love with you
he has someone else back in school
You think you'd forgotten
you think you could handle this all
but when he appears infront of you
the confidence of letting go just falls
but he's not in love with you
and you're suffering from all this mental torture
All now I can do
is to hang on to God for only he can cure this addiction
more than other rehab centres could
He's my equilizer
that keeps me at least a lil sane
and I know in time I'll get through...


And so I was paicking most of my stuff back to Perlis
and here are some of the nostalgic moments in my room...

the amazing amount of thumbnails and blue tags
used just to stick papers and pics around

All the pics,articles, drawings ready to be packed up!

"you are the prettiest gal ever lived"
the note that I sticked to my mirror and confessed it everday...
for the 1st few weeks only...
then I forgotten it actually existed...haha
Got home,
settled all my stuffs again
and found out all the bunch of albums i bought in 2009...
to me it's a lot...
16 albums bought in 10 months,
and FYI they are all ORIGINAL!

Mama mia soundtrack,backstreet boys CD+VCD,

Kevin Max,David Archuleta,Matchbox 20,

Jeremy Camp,Zee Avi,Daughtry,Demi Lovato (2),Norah Jones(2)

and not inside here-Colbie Callait

So being "free" enough,

I went on to count all the original albums in the house

and I found we had a total of 110!! much money is that...

Dad keeps complaining about how I spent my money on albums,

but hey,

it's so much better than buying cetak rompak or illegal downloads.

We support good music by letting these great musicians earn money

which is by buying their albums to be exact...


well at the end of the again...


Friday, October 30, 2009

Lil Thoughts (Gotta stop thinking about you)

Lil thoughts keeprunning through my head
till I dont know what to say you

Lil thoughts keep running through my head
till I dont want you to say
a word anymore

I know I shouldnt be singing this
at this very moment
but I cant get this over with

I gotta stop thinking about you

thinking about you

worrying about all the things that you do

Stop minding about you

what we both had gone through

it's killing me

Gotta stop thinking about you

thinking about you

I cant understand what magic you have inside

that could grap whole of me untill

I lost my mind

Wrote this few days ago,
I thought this song so far is one of the most satisfactory song I'd ever written.
It may sounded a lil cliche or Colbie Callait-ed...
but i'm happy with it.

There's not really a specific person i'm writing about
but a few ppl that kinda got my full attention till I cant study and wrote this song
thanks for the inspiration guys...haha

I'll try to find time to upload the song someday.
If not,i'll sing it for you....someday too... =)

Ready for the BATTLE??

Was on my way back to Perlis today
as usual I'll cam whore with my new C902 phone
and snap! got this really amazing pic.
Take a close look (maybe not even close)
and you'll see a "GOOD" hand sign at the clouds...
cool huh?
it's like God is telling me i'm doing well cz im striving for my STPM.
not really striving i guess...
Gosh,the heat and preassure is on.
3 weeks and no time for rest...
Syllabus undone,
concepts unstable,
chapters piling up like twin tower of Petronas
brain often on sleep mode,
wandering around cloud 9...
I dont feel ready for this battle
But i still belive 3 weeks can change things.
even if it's sticking myself with elephant glue on the chair,
poking myself with needle when i'm sleepy,
or skip lunch,waking up early (nooo!!!)
I have to burry my face into books and READ!!!
*breath in breath out...huuuuu*
Dad is just a wonderful father
discussing econs theory with him is just so fruitful.
He'll go through wikipedia to check for more info,
explain,reconfirm my concept
and stimulate me to think...
most of all,business and econs has a close relation to what he's good at
FELDA GULA PERLIS... applicable...
Too bad his daughter is just too slow to twist her piggy brain...
No more excuse,it's back to work...
ready for the battle?
wait a minute,my knife is not even sharpen!
my guns are not fully loaded,
there goes my rusty shield....
give me a sec commander!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Gossip Guys

Can someone tell I THAT bad?
Everything I do seems to draw gossips from that group of ppl...
Initially I felt "it's fine with me,WHATEVER"
but later as I sensed the pressure coming in....
I too panicked...I started to think "Is it just them or is it really me with the probs?"

I dont know...
Maybe i'm a jerk in nature
or I have bad breath or something...hah

Maybe I cared so much of what they say is just cz of him there...
every word he uttered just infects my whole mood system...
gosh....I HATE THAT...
but all typical gals would's inevitable...

I dont want this feeling. Trust me...
I know this guy is definitely not the one...
maybe after my big showdown this will all end
cz we are all gonna go separate roads...

I guess i'm just too dependent on him
oh whatever, I just wanna get rid of this place as soon as possible...
and fly to somewhere far enough.......
I despise gossip guys

Confusion confused
It's like you dont know who to trust or to rely on...

You're still stuck in the middle...
neither black or white...
you are just grey and that makes me super sick

You know you stand a chance to make a start,
but something just holds you back
or else it'll be something that will not let you in
eventhough you are begging to enter...

Im caught up in the middle of...


Monday, October 5, 2009

Crush Crash

A crush on someone else is just like a car crash
while you're speeding on the road or enjoying the excitement of the drifting ...
you wont see the consequences and danger ahead
you just go faster and faster...

Until you crash...
it wont hurt much when you're unconscious
but when you wake up from coma
that's when the pain and agony starts coming in...

cz this is all not meant to be...
and i think it's time to slow down and press on the breaks
before I get into a crush crash too....

Friday, October 2, 2009

My LIKE Life

You know,I admit I do have a crush on some guy out there.


and I know what you're thinking now..."who is that lucky guy?"

or rather who's that UNLUCKY one...

Crushes I had for the pass few years till now (they come and go from time to time though)
never really proceeded till the next level. I called it LIKE.

For me,LIKE is when you wanna spend more time with this guy
(or gal)
getting more personal
wants to know every detail of his life
be there everytime he needs you
comfortable being just who you are when you're with them
not ashamed to show who you really are inside
...the list goes a lil more but what i really wanna say is
for me to LIKE someone seems hard.
Especially when I've never been in a serious or puppy love relationship before
(yeah i know it's pathetic)

Hooooo...there's this very strange situation that happens everytime I have a crush on some guy
that is the guy (usually had a crush on me before I did the same) will move on.
I used to think that God is playing a fool with me
but as time passes by, I started to appreciate this funny "phenomena"
cz someday by the time the guy and I both share the same feelings for each other
at the same time...
then there's a high possibility he is the so called "The One"

I admit I'm having a crush now
maybe moving into the LIKE stage...
but as usual i'll always hold back long enough till he backs out...
and the journey for true love continues...
maybe soon??

To Dance Again

I dont know how many are reading this,
maybe no one really cares...
I'm no popular chic around town or even near
I'm just so excited
like fresh blood flowing all over
in and out every arteries
setting my cells in a dance mode
my feets are moving incesently
tapping to every rythym that comes through
or maybe...flows into my heart
I'm so glad i've been given the opportunity
to twirl and swirl again
to perform again
to dance
with everything I have

Sunday, September 20, 2009

A Peak into This Ugly World

Life is full of funny stuffs...
they can build you up and yet
tears and rip you apart...
Cant believe a not very big incident few days ago
an argument,
a blame,
an insultation
by a mere supervisor at London Weight Expert Management
changed my perceptions towards business,salesman
and this world.
In just 30 mins, I learnt so much about the ugliness of this world
where the rich and powerful rules
while the low and meek--- manipulated
An argument,
a blame,
an insultation
by a mere supervisor at London Weight Expert Management
left me crying infront of the refridgerator
never I felt so intimidated or blamed...
I guess I had a peak of the ugliness of this world.
Yet I wont be defeated by this incident.
Instead this will prepare me to face and overcome the possible or maybe worst situation
in the future...
We'll have to live the beauty of surviving in this challeging world
and still be ourselves...God is faithful

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Singing with BIG LUNGS

Listening to tonnes of live perf and covers by various artist
and WOW...they all sounded so so good...
even if its off stage.

Seeing them sitting in their rooms
dressed up in their pajamas
without make up or funky hairstyles...
STILL,they sounded just as great as they were in albums

As I just uploaded some vids on youtube
I was kinda embarrassed and afraid to post it
cz I just felt I'm so not up to the standard
to be like there ppl...gosh

I wonder how could I be like them?
you know,singing so outstandingly w/o much stress
with big lungs and tongues.HAH
Well....I guess hardwork and practice is the key to success....

Neway,check out my cover of David Choi's single
"Wont Even Start"
and oh yeah, do leave your "footprints" if you ever do stop by there!


Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Miss Ducky

Since a few students in my school was suspected having infected with H1N1,
my school announced that ALL ppl must wear mask to classes,
if not,you'll be chase OUT of the school compound...

So everyone was all crazy buying boxes and boxes of surgical mask
some took the opportunity to make business,
some bought like boxes back for family members as well
(IBM subsidized mask are very cheap)
and as for me....

My dad gave me a few of his company's mask...
the N95 particulate respirator
*ta dah!!*
How's that eh? cool huh?

when I first wore it to class,my friends were all laughing
and roaring in class...
they go like "ap ap ap!"
ish...but later I realized that this is a very very good mask
it really provides protection and it's thick enough
unlike those surgical mask that only prevents dust to enter our mouths...

and after for some time i thought,
hey,I look cute at this.Why the embarrassment?
So i'm proud to announce myself as miss ducky
for the moment ONLY



A friend's dad passed away today...
or maybe I should say yesterday...technically

It's not very surprising but still shocking
confused,mixed emotions....stunned

Always,when a person leaves us,emotions will come rushing out of us
leaving us thinking about this world...and really deep thoughts...
What is our purpose living in this world?
so complicated,so dark yet so bright at the same time

I'm really glad that Uncle is at a place where there's no worries,
no sadness,and in paradise with God up above...

Rest in peace dear uncle...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

When will this day be?

Some guys takes your breath away the 1st time you see them
but then quickly dries up when you get a lil deeper into his world.
Some guys make you wanna take a step back when you meet them
but draws you in like a magnet when take a peek inside...

Some great guys come and go
in and out of your life in a blink of an eye
not even when you're in time to save the dance for them...
However,the others lingers and stays around...

As for me,
the guys I like usually already have their targets
or the ones that liked me move on
right after I have a crush on them.
Pathetic huh? I always call this bad timing....
Still, I believe if one day when mr.Right would fall for me at the same I do for him...
sparks and fireworks will be in the air!

...just dont burn the roof...

Photo Shooting with Henna

Went out on a photo shoot with Henna yesterday.
Wish I could show you the rest of 296 of them here but...
you know i cant...=)
Still,I didnt notice that we actually witnessed the sun sets that day.
It was beautiful.
With the sea infront of us and the wind blowing...
How you wish time would just stop there.

Truly,any best place to be,
I personally think being with nature is much much better than
living in concrete walls and air-conds
People often ask how could I possibly live in such a rural area,
with no shopping malls,no cinemas,no K-box what so ever...

My answer.Simple
Live the best with whats around you.
I do other stuffs to entertain myself.
Like photo shooting with my best pal...
and of course I have the internet aroud. =)

God is truly an artist...
just look at the picture of the sky.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

my way of evangelism

Trials incoming! argh...that means no more dili deli or what so ever!
hmm...well...guess i'll have to blog less and Youtube less..huhu

Had a great time hosting Sean's bday yesterday...
had the craziest,silliest idea ever...that is present hunting...
I had him completing various missions in several shops..
once he completed every mission,he'll receive his next clue and one step closer to his tiny present..
I enjoyed myself arranging with the shop owners and watch him siasui his face.secretly lar...

Ppl started calling me duckie lately...hmm...that's because of my duck shaped mask that i wears to school's kinda annoying cz EVERYONE seems to give you "the stare" each time you walk pass...i'll upload the pic as soon as i get home yea...haha...
the H1N1 flu is spreading really badly in malaysia...everyone please take precautions...
wonder when will this all ends?...but this are signs towards the end of the world...sickness and wars...freaking me out each time i think about it...

thats y we have to really get ppl to know God...which is something I struggled so hard to do...
though i had 3 months of training was like i was so fearless of every circumstances that stood before me...
But now...I stepped back and became passive...gosh what the heck was I thinking?

2 friends just returned "The Good News" booklet back to was awkward but i hope they really read about it before they return it to me...
I think that is why I prefer to use music and lyrics as my tool to evangelise...maybe going straignt to ppl and talk them down is not my kinda way...
I find it comfortable to share Christ through music. Like when I play a christian CD and caught my friend's attention, we'll sit down and chat alot about church,worship and indirectly I share Christ....

Hey, i'm not such a failure after all...just found out that I am still working for God...hehe...
I think no matter what way we use,
as long we share the word,
as long we get ppl to the truth....
God is still gonna be please...

Peace yo...

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Frustrating 1/8/09

What a great way to start the month...

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Zee Avi

Heard her on the radio few weeks ago,
the song "bitter heart" just draws my attention to this singer
Her voice was so classical and magnetic
that it just made you pause for a moment and wanting to sing along...
and she is Zee Avi

A Malaysian,
also a Youtuber =P
got featured on Youtube and was signed up by Brushfire records..
ahh,you can read all the details on Wikipedia though

What really inspires me is that she's a Malaysian
achieving something really big now
And her songs is not the typical pop malay songs...
It's jazz and folk.and I love the Ukulele on the background
it melts my heart...

Hopefully I'll be able to achieve something amazing like her someday
i'm really proud of her
and hopefully I'll be somewhere there ...someday...somehow....


Thursday, July 16, 2009

The future lover JoC

I'm a bad lover...
dont get me wrong...i meant future lover...

well,this thought has been bothering me for the pass few months actually,
never really brought it up to many ppl cz i thought its just a silly one...
so i just shrug it off my head...

Here's a few reasons y i think i'd be a bad lover in the future:
1. Im way too demanding
2. Hot tempered
3. Noisy
4. Loves to hang out...that would cost his wallet unless he is super darn rich
5.Always ends up in you know where all the cash flows eh
6. If i ever have a bf now,that's freaky cz I dont wanna have an ex
7. I'm a paranoid
8. I cant cook and clean well.
9. I still dont do the commitment thingy

So there you go...dont wanna explain too much cz i dont know where to!
i know it's gonna get some of you to scratch your head with question marks all over....
I told a guy that my counter is not open thats how I explain my status now. =)

God bless me with an understanding BF someday!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Excitement Excitement

It's been a long time since I blogged...2 weeks away from my pc and I felt so distant to it now...
how does this keyboard work again???


To update you guys about what's been happening,
the four besties re-united! Henna and Serene came to Penang to visit me and Chuck,and we met in Gurney just to hang out...
FYI, it's a very very very rare chance that 4 of us can meet together. It's usually we separately meet each that time was really sensational!
We had fun shopping for shoes,criticizing every pair of branded shoes and the price...
and of course we enjoyed sneaking into the luxurious Parkson fitting room to take pics!....Goodness,they have a nice chair and coffee table in there...wonder what's that for when you're fitting into those branded,overpriced clothes?

Hmm, mid year results are out...didnt do very well,especially Business...i'm so rusty in it...or is it my brain?? lolz...Really have to be convicted enough to study gal...19 more weeks and you're free!!
No more lectures,
no more quarrels with housemates,
no more STPM-is-coming quotes buzzing around your ears

but for now study 1st lar miss piggy...

Oh Yeah..and the other great news is.....I PASSED MY PIANO PRATICAL EXAM!!!
Can you ever ever imagine that???? I didnt even expect a pass....I thought I was gonna retake my grade 5 prac and I wont be able to continue my grade 8 next year..
When mom told me about it,I was in the restaurant and I just went like :"I dont believe you! OMG"...several times...
till everyone was looking at me and my friends were pretending to eat focusly on their food...

oh hoho,i'm just overwhelmed.WIsh I could express my excitement and joy with everyone but...I cant be in multiple places at once so....phuuuu
But ended up treating myself a Giodarno save-the-environment T and a pair of cute shorts...
and I spent like 30++ treating 2 friends...........i'm so broke by

time to save up and tie my belt again

Friday, July 10, 2009

My Stupid Mouth

M ny things happened this past 2 weeks...
very very small things actually....
To a 2nd party who reads this, it may appear to be pure crap or you might say:
"owh,she's just a young gal going through typical dilemmas in daily life"

whatever you wanna say...
but when all this small incidents accumulate and turns into a big force,
it's take your emotions to a level of BREAKING DOWN

and like a friends used to suggest me
listen to Relient K's "Break Down"

Imagine this......
Time: Dinner time
Venue: Fancy restaurant
Date: During MJ's funeral...

Everyone's excited about the bday celebration UNTIL

A was playing this cold war with me...not giving me even a glance...
B stormed out the restaurant during the celebration of the other 2 housemates bday...just because I asked her whether she could pay for the ala-carte she wanted

my jaw dropped

C hitting me anxiously wanting to know what's going om
D having dilemmas whether she wanna go out with her date...asking for suggestions
E asking about budget of the whole bday celebration....
Finally, the BILL....all the countings running through my head....

Can you imagine all happening at once?!All emotions just rushed to you at once....
Well,if you separate them,it's not a big deal....(exception of A and B)

I just felt like I'm the sinister here...I'm being the bad guy...rather gal...
and those who know me good enough, I cant take cold war or quarrels....
Even i'm not the one who's wrong, still I'll apologize....and I did....


what I got at the end? a long papaya face and a big storm out of the restaurant...
Frankly, I dont think I'm 100% wrong.
Maybe I shouldn't say it out loud...I'm always loud anyway...
but I didnt say it in a discriminating way or trying to tease her...gosh
I just dont know what went wrong!!!


But I know in the future there's gonna be more of these kinda ppl popping out...
this just the smallest case of the smallest case...
I am thankful that this happened actually it stimulates my inspiration to write more songs
and teaches me to be more careful when I speak...

yeah,it's my fault for being the loud speaker often times...
I'm learning everyday.I'm growing to be a better and mature person.
I pray that things will all turn up well by next week...

"my stupid mouth has got me into trouble...
oh i'll never speak it up again...i'll never speak it up again..."
~my stupid mouth by John Mayer


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Twitter Frenzy!!

As we all know that Twitter...some kinda status update kinda site...lolz..
is like the next big thing around.
So giving in to my excitingly curiously self...I sign up to be one of the TWEETS...

At 1st I thought it was really boring and lame...
i mean it doesnt have any features or games or cool player..etc in's just purely status updates...and watching others follow you or you follow them instead....


But until I found out that David Choi is on twitter too!
Through him I linked to many many more Youtubers around the globe! Like Ryan Higa, Lisa Nova, DaveDays, Smosh....and I found Ashton Kutcher....the celeb who dares CNN in a twitter
I did left him a message about soccer...but...i think it would be almost mission impossible to reach him...

Then I saw celebs like Katy Perry,Lady GaGa, Miley Cyrus, Oprah, Justin Timberlake, Alicia many of them...
it's like "who doesn't have Facebook....I mean Twitter??"

=) guys can follow me...heat things up at my twitter site.... ....heeeeee...but I dont really update unless I get on9...burr

Urgh...gonna walk back to hostel in the dark again....gotta get my karate-kid ready...


The white house has twitter too?!darn...

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Stemilyn The Lazy Pianist

I'm totally not in the mood to go for piano exam tmr...
but i know after tmr all of the anxiety will be gone...
most more piano classes for 2009!

I'm still not ready
honestly...gosh i'll be so dead to see the freaking examiner tmr...
she or he will be shaking their heads off when they hear me play
like an amateur

I'm not like some ppl...superly duperly talented.
or very hard-practicing kinda person...
I'm laid back and always playing somethings else when I get to those keys...
i play anything except the pieces....and scales...

i'm such a failure
how can u succeed when you are so darn lazy here...?

I'll go practice now...

Sunday, June 7, 2009

David Choi and some bla bla bla

I always admire those singers on Youtube.
They do covers and also originals...which is such a cool thing...
sitting at home just pressing some keys...sipping coffee while editing videos...
and yet able to earn a living out of it...what a life...
the POWER of music just blows me away!

Anyway,here's a great Youtube artist to intro to you guys:

David Choi
who already has his own album "Only you"
Very talented and raw guy
He usually appears half asleep or half awake
and has this very untidy hair on set.
But still the rough yet pleasant voice captivates every breath.
it's just captivating...

Wonder whether I sound the same too?

Love the way David Choi plays some of his cover or original song
with the guitar in a jazzy style...
That really blows me I love jazz!


Hope I could be like those wonderfully talented people out there
one day...
Friends told me that I'm talented...
but I just dont feel that way sometimes...
Guess I'm just too strict towards myself...

I still thank God for this musical gift in me...

How cool would it be to write songs like John Mayer,
Jason Mraz, Joanna Wang...
How awesome it'll be to touch hearts with simple melody
Music connects souls

Hope that I could pull the BB parade's song off...
make it a blast...
I'm trying my best Jessalynn, so keep your fingers cross!

Neway, check David Choi out...
let me know what you think about him too...


Piss the Hell out of me...

So much going in my head....
well about the weather,the birds, the skies and the deep blue sea...
Just crapping about that...

Some things came up lately
and I just dont know where to start or how to put my feelings into words
All I can say that I'm hurt and I dont feel good of myself either...

You's really annoying when you are the victim of a certain condition
and yet people points their finger to you
accusing and giving you warnings...or shall I say ADVICE...

At first I'll feel indignant...
but later on the confuse feelings started filling in...
the typical "could-it-be" scenario jumps in
and let me tell you guys IT PISSED THE HELL OUT OF YOU...

When you feel like spitting everything out

Words tangled up on your tongue

When anger burns up from your stomach

Gastric juices extinguished those furious flame


Gosh,how could I ever thought of that...
It's ok anyway....the "AH Q" spirit in me will help me
to overcome this flames of fury!!
Be afraid....very afraid!

I'll be fine in the end...
time will heal....oh well

coffee anyone?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Football Frenzy's been a strange day for me...

Was totally mad when I was falsely accused by the state librarian
just because I wore a 3 quarter pants... =(
Boo sama dia!!

Then I was in a mix feelings mood after got on the internet...
cant really explain what happened...
All I can say is...I felt truly guilty for a friend of mine...

I entered into an intense mode where I have to finish my business studies
by TODAY...or else I'll be dead by this coming exam...

But now...

I'm totally EXCITED and THRILL because...
MAN U vs Barcelona in the UEFA finals!
I like both clubs...but my heart still goes out to Man U....
sorry Barcelona...i'll still rejoice for you when you win...=)

It's funny that many people thought it's unusual for a gal to like football
I thought it's really normal...
maybe just for friends around me would think that way...

However, I have female friends that are way into football than I do...
they are EAT football, SLEEP football and DRINK...

Coca Cola...


I guess it's just the influence from my bro since young.
We watched the highlights together at night...though my parents would be nagging in the end
andchasing us to bed after that...
It's a great childhood memory....

May the best team wins!


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Sweet 19th Birthday =)

Yo!! it's been a while since I blogged...anybody missed me?!
Sure you guys do! haha!
Anyway, just to update you guys about my 19th bday's very meaningful and SWEET.

Here goes...

On the 21st,which is a Thursday, my housemates requested that I should go hill climbing with Ken and her. It's kinda weird at the beginning, but I thought it was a good idea to do some exercise so I went along. After 4 deadly hours of "exercise", we went back and they had tomyam steamboat in the house. Things were really getting strange as Yoke Chan told me that they ACCIDENTALLY overcooked so they decided to do steamboat...haha...

To be honest I knew they were gonna celebrate my bday...
I just acted bad girl..

Neway,after a long time trying to hide the surprise from Michelle (the other bday girl) and I, they finally did the typical off-the-lights birthday's really nic e of them to plan everything out. I didnt even have to wash the dishes...haha!
I received a beautiful bag and card. Thanks guys!

Then the following day (22nd), my classmates came out with another ambush. haha...not really but it's a simple yet memorable one.
During recess 2 of them went all the way to Jusco's Secret Recipe and bought me and Kean Tat (another bday boy) cakes! We had our celebration in the class and of course some crazy stunts by CH and Ren Hong...

Minutes after that, I went out with Sean, Yi Qin, Rin Sin and Man Shi to KTV!! Yoohoo! Which is one of my fav events to do...cause we can sing and dance just like mad...with the CCTV watching at us...lolz...who cares....I didnt even have time to bathe and rest.
Then we had dinner at Chai Leng Park,went to play video games at Jusco and finally we had really nice desserts at Ice Ice Baby in Auto City....YUM YUM!!
Of course at the same time we got to watch lots and lots of DELUXE cars around....
Nissan's FairLady!!

The following day I went down to JB, to attend Iconnect's big event and Iyouth's graduation...
It was a very touching moment I must say. Very nostalgic when I attended both events cz the same day last year I was one of the performers involved. Too bad I cant be a part of it this year. But still am happy to be there to support all of them...

I had a great time catching up with Xue Fen,Joyce,Mei Ling, Yin, Dylan and Michelle. Though I did not have time to catch up with many more friends, still their wishes and hugs really meant alot to me...and the lil bear I received. =)

Ah, almost forgotten about the CHC team. I spent a night at Yin's place and they gave a surpirse as well. It was simple and this time I was really surprised...maybe cz I thought they wont do anything for know,just a greeting and a hug...haha...I underestimated them...Love the PDI singlet they gave to me...

Cant believe 1 year had passed just like that...and I'm 19. Next year I'll be breaking that 1 into 2.Lolz...we cant stop time cant we?
But I'm grateful for God has placed wonderful people in my life. Every breath is a blessing too.
I have no idea what to say anymore...
I just wanna thank everyone for the love and wishes...
Thank you for remembering cz I always hope someone does...

With Michelle celebrating our bday in the hostel

My Choco Banana..or whatever the name is...
it's delicious anyway...=)

With some of the siao siao ppl in my class =P

Perlis dudes baby!

Ice Ice Baby!

Iyouth 2008 reunited!!

Iyouth 08 and 09 together!
with Ah Yin--our all time loving brother

Saturday, May 9, 2009

These Mixed Emotions

When a song is written

When you meet a friend from a far away land...
Overwhelmed =)

When a close friend shows concern...

When someone scolds the hell out of you...
Rage =(

When someone you like is taken...

When someone who likes you later moved on...
Confusion =S

When a best friend is not beside you...
Memories =P

When a best friend hugs you...
More than words could express

When all these mixed emotions are upheld to God...
Peace and gratitude

Sunday, April 19, 2009

All My Fault


A young teenage girl frust over some typical growing up problems....

it's really an inevitable process in our lives...
it's a must...

I wonder, all these conflicts that happened in my life...
is it entire my attitude problem? or is it because of someone else too?

I didnt mean to neglect or forget anybody...
I didnt mean to put up a fight...
I didnt mean to spoil the relationship
or to put a friend's effort to waste...

it's partly because of my ignorance
and not being sensitive to people's feelings...

or maybe it's just all my fault?
I'm just the devil all this while...
the best way is to just put all the blame on me and say sorry...
and like everyone likes to say: "Just forget about it..."

Huuuu, cant believe a supposedly great moment of gathering turned into a mess...
all because of my ignorance...


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Lately...should I?

Lately, I'd been thinking...

what is life without love?
how would life be if everyone is really perfect...?
should I really be patriotic and just be like everybody else...?
just being modest and contented with our current achievements...
Am I appearing to be cocky or hot tempered?
Should I give consider...a request that I once rejected?

Hmm...if only wishes can come true within just a click...
We'll see what God has to offer as time goes by...


Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Hard usual....

Some people gotta learn things the hard way...
and I just gone through moments ago...
So hard that it was as if a slap on my face...and the pain still so fresh...

Yet I know...I learned a very important lesson....


Lately,there's an unknown tension between me and a friend...
well,quite close I would say...
For the whole week, we didnt hang out as dinners or movies...
just dim and dry...
it's just unusual

I started to usual....
My mind came up with all sorts of always...
and soon before I know, all sorts of thoughts about my wrong doings are flying all over...
in and out of my freaking mind...

You dont wanna imagine how horrible my thoughts are....
of course i'm still as normal as always...just emotional at the moment....

Then one day, a junior told me that she was following his car back...I thought it was fine cz there's still plenty of space...but then the other one told me that there's gonna be 4 people going back his car....

I was like "What??? what the heck is this??"
as usual...the irrational side of me reacted and I was Vin Diesel in Fast and Furious...haha!
It's like a back stab...i mean how could he?

To cut it short,
he did asked me whether I would wanna take a ride home...and being realistic enough,I did.


This afternoon,
I was so ready to slam this issue on his face....
readily sharpened my sword and waiting to sway it onto his lungs...
(forgive me, watched too much Happy Tree Friends...wahahaha)
along the whole journey,he was warm and nice...
you know...all of the sudden talking and joking with me...
I was...frankly... shocked....

Well, thinking that was just part of his act in front of the juniors,
I decided to joined the "act"....
and just when I was hoping he would drop everyone...leaving both of us alone so I could enter to the "moment" i was waiting for, one of the junior insisted him to drop her off last...


I thought that was know,no more confrontations, no more truth to set me free...
BUT,then came my neighbour (one of the juniors) to my house after he dropped me...
she came to tell the reason why he was so cold to me...

And it was then I felt so guilty of myself....
thinking back, it's really my fault for throwing my tantrum at him
and not appreciating him for what he'd done for me...
It was really a slap at my face...and good thing I was awake this time...

I was kinda spoiled by him, cz he was always so flexible and "kek qi" with me,
so I guess I took advantage of the situation unconciously...
while pointing my finger at others, I didnt realize that I was no different from them...

Hey, we're all sinners anyway....kakaka....

And like what someone said...maybe it's fate that he didnt drop me off last...
or I wouldn't had known the truth...
cz he cant take confrontations, and he'll just keep quiet in the car while I spit everything out...which is very selfish of me to do that...IF i was given the chance to...

Hey,it's not fate's God's plan...
I was praying for God for help...I just keep praying "I dont know what to do..."
cz I really dont know what to do but to panick and cry at night...
and maybe this is the best way to teach me some lessons about myself...

for being selfish
for being demanding
and inconsiderate

It's not the 1st time...
there may be still the 10,000th time....
but I promise myself to not let that happen...

I may fail
I may give in to my stupid crazy frenzy thoughts
but I know I will be more careful next time...

cz I'd learned the hard way

what a great Father I have...

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


50 first reactions

This is called 50 first reactions. Type what comes to your mind first whenever you hear these 50 words. Don't think and don't go back and change. Doesn't matter how random just type it!

1. Beer: bitter

2. Food: black pepper chicken chop or anything with it...

3. Relationships: BGR

4. Crush: David Archuletta

5. Power Rangers: "Go Go Power Rangers!"

6. Life: It ain't long

7. The President: Obama

8. Yummy: Auntie Annes

9. Cars: I need a new one...celica!

10. Movie: 2 fast 2 furious!

11. Halloween: Gothic clothes?

12. Sex: sperm and ovum

13. Religion: faith

14. Hate: fakers and those who use people

15. Fear: losing a close friend

16. Marriage:" you'll be my 1st and the last"

17. Blondes: dumb but pretty

18. Slippers: comfortable and conveniet

19. Shoes: purple gold NIKE

20. Asians: dont play play arr...

21. Past time: singing,dancing...crapping...=)

22. One night stand: stand all night under the lamp post...

23. My cell phone: Badly injured like the owner herself

24. Smoke: Johnny Yen

25. Fantasy: standing on a stage with millions of people listening to me sing

26. College: chance to experience it now

27. High school Life: Memorable...crazy and wild!

28. Pajamas: singlet and Edwin boxers

29. Stars: "when I look at the stars...I see someone else"

30. Center: "You are the center of it all,the universe declares it all...."

31. Alcohol: XO bottoms up!

32. The word love: "L is for the way you look at me..."

33. Friends: "you make me laugh and make me cry, I dont know which side to buy"

34. Money: I need it alot!!

35. Heartache: agony

36. Time: "is ticking,time is ticking ticking away"

37. Divorce: not for me...uh huh...

38. Dogs: all over my hostel and they are my protection

39. Undies: G strings

40. Parents: moody but i love them!

41. Babies: like them when they're not crying...=)

42. Ex: i dont have one...

43. Song: melody+lyrics

44. Color: black

45. Weddings: nice dress, nice music, nice flowers by the peaceful river

46. Pizza: with lots of pineapples!

47. Hangout: Jusco?

48. Rest: SLEEP

49. Goal: be a blessing to many through arts

50. Inspiration: GOD...nature

Then, tag first 10 people that comes into your mind
*alphabetical order so no importance placed :P

Darios Ng
Dylan Woo
Henna Tan
Jessalynn Khor
Sam Chew
Serene Tan
Uncle Loh
Xiang Yi-Lulu

Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Was back to Perlis yesterday
Was driving back from school after dropping my mom there
Was returning home
saw the beautiful sunbeam shining forward
the warmth of the sun so gentle....

A famous singer said
We are all like the SUN.
Though at times we don't feel we're important in this world
yet to others we mean the whole world to them...

Just like the sun,
it may not know how powerful and vital it is,
you may think it's jobs is to be shinny and burning,
yet to it's surprise,
the whole world depends on it...

well I have a question I the SUN in your life??


Saturday, March 28, 2009

A lil Emptiness

These days...just felt so empty...
not because I was mistreated or bullied...
it's just like a deep feeling longing for a shoulder to really rely on,
an ear to listen to me when I'm sad
and someone to rub off the tears when I cry...

I know it's foolish to think this way but hey...
I'm still a lady...=)
I will surely have some desire for love...the prince in my life...
It's just that I cant seem to see any around...not even the white horse anywhere...

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Unexpected and Shocking Day

It was 2 days ago and I was on my way back to my hostel...
After unloading my stuffs from Sean's car ...we headed towards my hostel across the parking lot

and as I was...dreamingly walking with my head looking down to the ground,
out of nowhere this motorist came so close to me and grabbed my handbag away....
and I fell on the rough tar road...on a hot summer afternoon....urhg! (with my lips kissing the ground)

Well...I was sent to the hospital and then we made a police all took about 2 hours+

I hurt my right knee (kinda severe) ,left arm and my left waist (i'm still amazed by this wound...wonder how it got to there...) and some scratches and bruises....

=( doesnt feel good...AT ALL...

but Im thankful for being alive,not getting killed or chop off by any barbarian....phew...just some wounds...and walking like a old lazy...

And in this times of difficulty, I'm able to feel (not sure whether it's the right word to use) the kindness and warmth of my housemate even helped me to wash my hair and rub my I cant really take a bath...Sean and his housemates often buy food and "carry" me when Im unable to walk...and oh yeah....restrain me from eating delicious food which will make my wounds even worse...."(thanks" guys)

After this incident,'s really like a slap on my face.I"m just not too careful of my own safety and often taken advantage of the situation here...and I realized I did pray less for my own safety here...

But still I'm able to feel the warmth and love from everyone and thanks for your cares! I'm recovering anyway...

p/s: Lost items : Purse, ATM cards, popular card, facial products and.... MY DIGITAL CAMERA