2013: Walking in the Light

And like what every other people would say

"Time flies"

2013, 13, 23

probably not the most exciting numbers to be seen...

especially the Western people, cz 13 is a taboo number.

However, I believe it's gonna be a super duper exciting year for me...

It's my final semester of my final year in uni! (hopefully I won't have to repeat, choi!!)

and its the year I plan to set out for a long work and travel trip, if possible with Zau. 

Not gonna hide but I'm actually planning for a wedding, probably in the next 3 years to come...

So, there's so much going in my future plans right now, and I can't tell how excited I am to face the fast-paced months...

Thus, as (almost) every year, in my blog, here's le 2013 resolution:

1. Fulfill work-and-travel 'mission' after graduation

2. Final year project: not just achieving an "A" for it, but also spread the awareness of theatre arts to many of my friends.

3. Keep up the daily devotion discipline (I confess, I've slacked alot last year)

4. To save up $$$$$ this year. (the exact numbers are best kept private here)

5. Work more frequent and consistent on my music compositions 

6. Learn to keep in touch with new/old friends. (I slacked and grown much passive over the years...bad thing)

7. Be punctual and improve in time management. (HA HA HA, if you know what I mean)

8. Be responsible in what I say and do, 别说一套做一套

9. Learn to say NO. (yes, it's a hard thing for me)

10. Find a good job. 

Well, minus out some very detailed details, there you have my 2013 resolution list.  

There are 3 secret ones which I decided to keep to myself only, just because...it's very private! (duh? =P) 

And as I was reading through the Bible, 1 John 1:7 says:

"If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin."

I must say, it speaks right out from my heart. 

For the past year, there have been many ups and downs in my walk with God. 

Many times, I've been very irresponsible in my actions and words. 

It's like saying "I love you" to your lover, yet the other hand is holding another guy kinda thing.

(not literally ok, my love life is fine lolz)

The word of God is very precise and powerful,

because it shines on our weaknesses yet it doens't condemns...

Infact, God's grace is sufficient for us to turn away from our darkest past and walk in his new light. 

It is a revelation of thoughts, which always never fails to blow my mind away.

Many people doubted the word of the Bible more than the 2012 doomsday rumours...

but I tell you, these words are words of wisdom and truth.

So,

my conclusion? Not to lie to myself in 2013. 

It's ok to not be perfect, and it's ok to fall down.

But I can't be too complacent with sinning and asking grace every single week, 

I'm then taking advantage of the person who loves me. 

May the year 2013 be a time of walking in the light.

The light of truth, righteousness and purity.

Walk in the Light. 

All the LOVE

I have all the love I need

and I'm blessed indeed. 

But why are the arrows and bullets

getting the whole out of me?

I have all the love I need,

so why am I always circling around,

vultures who's awaiting me?

Oh Lord,

open my eyes and ears

to listen to my own heart...

and not the honeybees...

I have all the LOVE I need...

let's keep going...

What are Above the Clouds?

What are above the clouds?

Nothing shining

What are above the clouds?

Cotton candy

Right here above the clouds

My thoughts are rolling

Right here above the clouds

They're building my dreams

Dear Mr. Pilot

Take me off ground

Dear Mr. Pilot

Land me safe and sound

Right here below the clouds

My thoughts are limited

Right here below the clouds

They're building my dreams

In and out of the clouds...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wrote this song when I was on the plane back to Malaysia...

I remembered a best friend of mine used to tell me how she love to just sit and look at the clouds from below

and then I was watching from above...

The beauty of God's creation is beyond words...

During my trip to Taiwan,
I had some set backs while trying to pursue my music career. 

Facing rejections and "lessons" must be really normal in the working world...

as it is so competitive.

I'm not hating the experience of being rejected by great teachers,

infact I actually am thankful to be exposed to the market at this time...

At least I have an overview of what it will be like once I wanna do this full time.

I believe there's a place in the back of our minds...

we dream about whatever we wanna be...

But below the clouds, our actions and thoughts are limited.

Yet somehow this dream kept us moving on in life

To listen to the song: What are Above the Clouds

Hope this could be an encouragement to the ones who listened
or maybe...just a nice pat on the shoulder kinda feeling.
=)

Satisfy My...

Satisfy my soul

Warm windy wind

Satisfy my soul, 

won't you?

I am on a float,

head stuck in the clouds

Someone bring me back to ground

I am waiting     for you

to come around

And bring me back      to earth

Oh you'll always be there by my side

So I guess I'll find my way to you

Satisfy my

Satisfy my

Satisfy my

Satisfy my soul... ...

Sometimes people just hear, they don't listen

Wrote this song 2 days ago...

Mainly because I'm feeling very tired and loathe the demands there are from this world.

It is a realistic and competitive place

all of us know this fact...

and I guess this environment has shaped us to the person we have become today...

Many times they say

"Do whatever that is true to your heart"

"Be yourself"

"Do not care of what they might say"

Really?

Really??

I do not have the answers...

'cause I'm searching for it too...

Initially I took their word for it.

But then, they didnt took my actions into account.

There isn't anything I could offer them, it seems...

I tried to satisfy their souls,

but then... ...

... 

...

We all know the fact that we should not build our satisfaction on others...
but often times, I failed to not care of what people might think about me....

I hope people could just give me a nod,
a pat on the shoulder,
a hug,
a smile
a whisper saying " Thank you for your effort"

But the more I'm entering the "real" world,
the more I realized, people dont say thank you that much anymore...

"Where do I go?
Where do I stay?
Where can I find myself again?"
-------Where do I go by Relient K

I'm entering the final year of my studies.

And seriously, I'm terrified what may come.

Where do I go? What can I do?

For now, I can only hold on tightly on God's promises in my life...

what He has promised me since two years ago...

Maybe I can't write songs that could get people to bang their heads to

or dance around like Justin Bieber (0.o...seriously you wanna use JB as an example??)

But I hope I can find a platform, for me to sing songs for people who needs healing...

for those who are lost.

ジョセリン  がんばっくてください!!

=) 

Better Get Drunk With More Coffee

Gloomy morning

The sun is dimmer, maybe

I wonder why bad things happen to me?

Come on, lady...

Pack up all this nonsense

Keep the negativity out of your skin

Because

That's ok, 

The sun will still shine big

Upon our faces

Hook on a smile and face your day...

And if your friends don't speak

Just leave them be

There's more yet to see

The day will still move on

So why won't you be happy? 

End of new song.

And look at my emo face

Company is on a one week holiday

Yay for some people,

but I didnt took the time to go to further places in Taiwan.

Why??
1. Typhoon came (bummer)

2. Tickets were sold out

3. Trying to save money

4. I'm just finding excuses to cover up my foolishness...

It's been pretty quiet lately...

not literally but...connectively I guess...

Cultural and hospitality differences...

I guess I'm not VERY independent to be left out alone

and do everything on my own for good.

Well, if you know me well,

this really isn't how I prefer to be...

 If you can survive
1. Not being able to do what you love
2. Closed up in many situations, only being told last minute
3. Ignored
4. Faced with hard brick walls after countless of initiation to bond
5. Receiving "We'll consider and let you know soon" responses while you were trying damn hard to get to know others by asking them out...
6. Home alone 9 days...

Well, then you're much a better me.
I guess no.1 and 3 killed me the most.

This shot took me few attempts...proud of the outcome *lovin' it*

Oh well, its really not for me to judge or have a say on anything here..

I'm just a passer-by that might not make a difference...

I'm trying hard to find a place and trace to fit in...

Maybe I'm just too keen to be one of them...

Maybe it's better to be "independent" and leave things out of it...

and just mind my own business...

But really...that's not how I roll.

Think of the good side...

this gives me plenty of time to write, talk to myself,

and have a little "me" time.

And it's ok if I keep hitting into brick walls,
'cause I'll just trying until I meet a wall that's willing to open a door for me...
=)
Still keeping my hopes up.

Or...

Might as well, get more coffee

to drunk away this pessimistic feeling...

What Happened On the Brunch Table

When life gives you lemons, 

you turn them into lemonades...

When Taiwan gives you typhoon,

you turn them into plenty of time to kill...

Need not to explain too much, 

Typhoon came, 

plans to indulge myself in Starbucks failed,

so the best thing to do is sit and home 

and COOK.

Bacon, bacon, bacon...I repeat, its bacon, no beef bacon! 

This toast taste x100 better than Gardenia. =P



Have been into cooking lately,
that's because my house in Taiwan has a kitchen! 
Compared to outside food and hostel cafeteria ones,
home cook is da best! 
And one does not need much skills to cook something edible. 
I'm no pro in cooking,
I just like to "mix and match" in the kitchen. *winks*
Now who would like to try my home-cooked food??


Being here in Taiwan,
being a part of Teenagers Performing Arts League (TPAL)
I've been learning alot.
The culture, lingo, history...not to mention weather....
There are so much to appreciate,
and at the same time,
travelling made me learn to treasure my own country more. 

LOVE, even though when it's hard.

P/s: These are events that took place on the brunch table...

I can't see my title...

Facebook killed almost everything else on the web...
haha at least for my case it is...
I seldom blog like I used to when I was a teenager...

Wait...I was?

Damn~~

Anyways, it's super hot summer night here in Taipei. The hotness is unlike Malaysia's...here it makes you hot and sweat uncomfortably, and sticky sticky all the way. *Rubs off "daki"* HAHAH!

Went to Warner Music of Taiwan today, I know I made a big deal out of it in Facebook, but then....I really couldn't help the mix feelings inside me. It's that kinda feeling when you feel like crying but then no tears coming out ...= /

The story was like this:
I saw Mr. Guan (Malaysia's renowned producer/lyricist) posting on his status stating that he's in Taipei too. So, without expecting much of a reply, I still left a comment asking where he was. He then invited me to visit his company anytime. I was really shocked and excited about it. Imagine visiting Warner Music...I might meet a celebrity or who knows to my mayhem kinda imagination -- get a record deal??? *trolling in my dreams*

So, I took the trouble to go to the office. It was an hour's journey from where I worked to that place man...its like travelling from Kelana Jaya to Setapak, to and fro....haha. Good thing, Taiwan provides awesome public transportation, it was not that hard to find the place.
Then I was greeted sceptically by the counter lady. She really looked at me with a noble questionable look on her face. I could imagine inside her mind "Hey fanatic fan gal, this is not a ticket selling booth you know? Get back to your fan club..."
I really have mayhem imagination. She got me started.

Anyways, I called Ah Guan sir, he need to personally come out to let me in because the lady really didnt want to let me in! She didnt even wanna listen to my lousy nokia phone with Ah Guan sir on the line. Wth...=.=''' So arrogant.

SO here's the juice.
I got in. Yay for the 1st step.
Sat down with sir there...and to my surprise, he was there to talk music(business kinda music)
Wow great, I wasn't prepared with any demos, all I had was rough demos in my Ipad. He listened and thought I wasn't that ready yet. So he went talent hunting, infront of me!
Wow. Painfully honest man.
It's not his fault though. I was to blame too.

I guess he had second thoughts to sign me too.

So he kept asking me who else can write songs...etc
I still willing gave a few names...and he dug into it.
I'm glad that some of my friends gain recognition from him,
but in the same time, I was deeply impacted.

I saw a reality.
A harsh one.
If you don't work your butts out and deliver well, someone will be at the door step to take your place.
That's the case in this industry. Competitions are BURNINGLY FURIOUS!
And I felt the heat now.

Before this, I was still living the la-la-land life,
thinking that I can take my own sweet time to produce my own music.
Write whatever I wanna write.
And maybe one day someone will just discover me and turn me into something overnight.
That's what those sucker tv series teach us...and I bought into that lie.

High-rise-dream, I shall conquer you someday...

So, it was definitely a wake-up call for me.
I know before this I was kinda defensive when people (who works in the industry) pointed out that my songs  needs to be modified etc...
I thought that I know my music the best...
But it isn't how things roll here.

As a song writer, we gotta be open to any suggestions and advice. Change when necessary. Or else, you might loose a good chance.

But then there were motivational moments...sitting there having a chat with Ah Guan sir definitely motivated me somehow. He said " Who said that you have to write music to sell? You just need to write good music"
Haha...He showed some demos to me too, and it was hell of a crazy competition going on.
So motivation no.2 --> need to UP my game in doing my demos.
Motivation no.3 --> write songs everyday....like literally! My role model: Wu Jia Hui

Well, for those who read till the end here, congrats for surviving through this boring whiny post. Hope you are inspired somehow.
I am still in the shocked and depressed mode here, but I know I have to keep going on and improving or else, I'll just squander in self-pity and go nowhere. The world doesn't wait for us to pick up ourselves and slowly get back on our feet. We gotta keep up.

Thank God for a wake up call and a great chance. It's not like we could have the privilege to troll around Warner Music's office and get starred down by leng lui counter lady. Right?

I'm very much blessed. =)

Really didnt had the mood to take pics, so this is the one and only memorial pic I have for this journey. May I not smile like that the next time ( I believe there will be a next time)