Turning Point 2

HUUU,what a roller coaster ride.
These 3 days has been really rough yet fruitful. All the tears and laughter,it's worth it all
As many would know how much I wanted to join the YWAM disciple training school,
sadly I'll have to put that thought down for the time being.

I realized I broke down 3 days ago was not because of something that happened in one night,
but it's because of how I look at myself for all these years.
Never really once I credit myself for being good though people may say it's good.
When people praise me, I'll feel like they might just say it to make me feel better...
I tend to not see myself in God's eyes.
I see myself through others... that sucks.

So year by year,
day by day...
these thoughts and -ve perception takes the hold of me...
and lately this 3 months, all the stress and incidents had caused me to the edge ...

and I broke down.

It was...a great relief.
Funny...but true.
Like every dirt just washed along with my tears...

and I'm really blessed to have such great friends to stand by me...
to just be there to lift me up
and remind me about God's love.
Like Serene said "All things happen for a reason"
so this doesnt happen for nothing...
it actually brought me closer to God. Which is one thing I seriously needed now.
I'm so dried out till I didnt realized how serious it was...

But things had changed.
I'm gonna grow more and continue to push through all this.
I know I'll still have that sucky "you're not good enough","you're not important enough" thought...But i'll have to clean that up sooner or later...
Totally destroy that thinking...and feel confident of myself.

Thank you to all of you out there who prayed and supported me...
especially Chuck,Henna and Jia...it's always about my probs...
and you guys never minded to listen.
I love you gals all the way!!

Now it's time to pack up....
and leave on a jet....bus. =)
I'm leaving TOWN!! Weeee!!!

still countless turning points to do...

Thanks Darian for letting me steal ur title.

=)