Things I Need to Let Go

Few days ago my sister posted an article in our family Facebook page, and the title is
20 Things You Need to Let Go To Be Happy
There are a few things I couldn't let go in my life...in fact almost all 20 of them. (Except thoughts about my ex cz I don't have one)
But life is such a beauty when you are willing and learned to overcome these scars or vice in your life.

One of it speaks dearly to me is judgmental thoughts and approval of others.
Ok, make that two.
These two have been a strong poison and hindrance for me to make decisions and move on with my life. I must admit, I am a paranoid at a lot of times. Afraid of what others think of me, afraid of being hated by others, afraid of offending others....etc etc etc etc etc....

Unfortunately, no matter how hard you try to guard the egg from falling, it will break somehow. Or even if it doesn't, the egg will hatch. Few months ago, I found out from a close friend that some other good friends of mine were complaining about me. I think it's more like gossiping. It wasn't pleasant to hear about it, in fact I was really really heartbroken. Just because they are really close friends and the last time such situation happened to me (2010), it got me into a state of depression.

But thank god, I didn't chose to attempt suicide like I used to. Also thank god for a great boyfriend who knows how to bring me out of the dark thoughts.

However, after overcoming those dark times, there were still unforgiveness in my heart because none of these heart feelings were confronted. And it remains as a wound in me.

Right now, facing challenging relationships with some people, the dilemma of my career path, the perception of others towards me (especially my future in-laws yikes) ......it's crucial that I don't let these negative thoughts get into my head. Having said that with much conscious, images of people slandering about me runs rampant inside my head now.

It's ok, because of all of these things will only makes me stronger. And shaped me into an enduring person.
We can't change people's perspectives of us, nor we can change the whole gossip culture.
But what we can do is not to do it or indulge in it. And always strive to be a better individual everyday.

I thank God for events such as these in life.
One more homework to do: To let go and move on.
Peace.

Darling From Above

You're a girl whom I wanna be girlfriends with

or a guy I would love to spend my whole life with...

You're everything I want to be...

But circumstances changes who we are

and alter the choice we make

You're still everything I wanna be

Oh darling from above

teach me to see your ways

people can say what they wanna say

but nothing echos louder than you

Oh my only guidance

if only I can clear the clouds away

but I know all I could do now

is set foot on every rock I could find

set foot on every rock you provide...

Right and left doesn't matter

as long I have you

Drawing, written and composed by 

jocelynstemilyn

Spiral Trees

Scatter cotton clouds on me

and I will fall asleep

into an adventure of gusty wind

and cherry trees awaiting

My imagination runs

like horses on the greens

Gallop high and gallop low

I can't seem to cease

You can't bring me down

from the clouds

cz my head is light above the skies

Spiral trees

Spiral trees

Spiral trees

comes creepin' in

Spiral trees

Spiral trees

Spirial trees 

be nice to me

I just need to get away

from all these events, these events

I need to get away

get away 

away

drew,written and composed by:

Jocelynstemilyn

Chasing Wind

I can't bear to see time pass me by another day,

All I see is dust turning grey,

age swallowing my confidence and gain,

and I'm chasing a gust of cold wind.

Wake up girl.

Once Upon a Time...Bacon

She has never tasted the taste of a fried chicken, or even roasted pork.
Mom only cooks dull steam chicken breast porridge or boiled vegetables for their daily meals.
Dad only feeds on half boiled eggs and sometimes beans for protein.
They are one skinny and weird family.

People regard her skinny figure to her family genetics heritage.
Yet, everytime she looks at her dad, he seemed to come from a big size, huge bone structured family line.
So she thought, she might be a clone of her mom.
Legs and hands are as skinny as the bamboo stick, flat chested and curvy-less.

She wonder, why won't her parents let her feast on nice oily food like all her other friends?
Her parents are not anti-social people but yet seemed very held back at certain situations. Why?
Why would two nice parents feed on such weird meals? and why their old wooded shattered house has a huge cupboard at a corner of the house? Everytime she ask about it, they only briefly answer "That's the only property your grandfather left for us. It is the best gift." Yet...it's just a normal cupboard collecting dust.

Till one day,
comes starvation and WWZ...
She finally understood all these years of training and 'suffering'...
There was a small corner, at the upper right side of the cupboard, which has an exit plan for the family.
The door was so small, that not every normal size human being can go through.
After crawling their way through the small tube connected to the cupboard door, Dad terminated the exit by breaking the bridge between the tube and the home.
She watched those pieces falling down into an endless pit.

Coming to another end, they entered a world not of their own.
They were in a chinese temple, faced down by many ugly looking demons and monsters.
Never she knew that her parents could fight. They fought a battle of victory.
But then there was a massive explosion.
They floated away on a rugged boat and reached a country side.

It seemed like a peaceful place...
As they pushed open the vintage twirling fence by the sea, their lives were never same again.


*to be continue*



(A dream of mine)

One Day. Coming.

Meow

One day lollipops, ice cream,

jelly beans and sweet dreams will be my own

One day I'll sing for many

who have needs and people with broken souls.

That day is nowhere too far at all...

How could I escape from all this love?

How could I embrace all of this madness surrounding?

Oh God, you have this way of making me realizing,

my fantasies are now coming to life.

No more time to waste...

No more time to waster....

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, lovely morning.

It's always good to wake up fresh in the morning with a cup of coffee.

And pulling out my ukulele to write some tunes.

It's been a while since I could sit down and write a song.

Reflecting on the things I've done...

(oh, here come emotional rush)

But then, I won't let emotions get the best of me,

or else I"ll end up like some 文青(文艺少年)...

*tsk tsk tsk*

This song is basically about myself realizing the best of life.

Waking up to a revelation of thoughts that God is good all the time.

Maybe for those who don't believe in God might not understand me,

why would I always wanna talk about God? Jesus?

I've said this alot of times,

just because He's real and He's the maker & fulfiller of dreams.

I'm graduating soon.

In about 2 months time.

and I've always know what I really wanna do in the future,

but circumstances are showing me otherwise.

Yet lately, I got a job in KLPAC,

theatre education.

Definitely NOT the job I expect to take on,

but to my realization, it's what I NEED, though not what I WANT.

I believe this is part of the puzzle for me to unveil 

in order to get to higher ground.

So, coming to this realization gives me to smiles...

and the chills.

How awesome is He who has the best plans for us in life?

If only we could just trust Him with all we have...

Shits,

gotta get back to memorizing my script.

Hopefully will get to blog about my upcoming production,

DARK MOON!  

(18 and 19 May 2013)

What The Birdy Days Taught Me

I beh tahan liao!! 

After a song-composing concert in my uni, named Dayao (means Big Shake, abbreviated from 摇篮手大型歌曲创作演绎会)...everyone has been posting nostalgic statuses and blog post and facebook notes and *gasp* photos! 

And as a senior who's in her final year, leaving this "ivory elephant building" (象牙塔) soon...I've so far done NOTHING, but just LIKE on facebook. 

DENG DENG DENG DENG!!! 

Pretty passive and selfish of me to do so right? 

One of the reasons that I don't wanna write anything sentimental is because I'm so afraid to face that sentimental feeling inside me.

Takut nanti nangis wei...
Anyhow, I guess it's time I write something, not just for everyone, but for myself as well. Maybe when I read this back someday, I'll blame myself for being such an emotional driven writer...

(You guys won't see me tearing up anyway, blurgh) 

And yes, all pics are stolen from various amazing photographer! *claps!* 

(by the way, for those who don't know, we regard ourselves as Birds in this "clubs")

Start out with some emo pic first... =P

This year is pretty much a year of growth for me. 

Emotional, mental, musically, technically, psychologically...physically (ekkk?)
Too much to say so I'll just separate my topics into point forms: 

1. Performing & Technical Skills

Last year, a producer commented on my singing skills and he/she recommended me to take lessons.

Instead of that, I went to sing in cafe and wedding functions.

Before venturing out, I've always thought I CAN sing. 

But bull-crap to myself when I'm out there...my singing was just peanuts!

So the whole year was a challenging one.

Cruel too.

Customers won't be like YLS seniors, giving advice or nice talks.

They criticize or just laugh at your face.

I guess I grew alot from there.

Thanks alot to my singing partners, Steve and Basil too.

Of course, 

I was and still am very touched by the improvement made by my fellow YLS friends.

Despite singing, music playing or composing or management,

EVERYONE grew from a certain extend. 

Just to specially mention XinYi Ng (Yes, you siao cabor),

Who thought she couldn't sing blues or a full band song,

I say you did AWSOME!

Kick-ass those skeptics babeh...

Musicians/ arrangers like Ding Hang, Leong Hooi, Shun Hern, Noah, Keen Long, Hazel, Guo Jing, Moh theng, Raymee, Raee, Julian, Daryl...

you guys really improve alot and I love alot of the arrangements this year.

Maybe too heavy taste for some people, but I think the songs arrangement brought up the best of you.

As for first year birdies,

hands down to you guys! I'm very grateful for a capable bunch of you guys =)

Might not be a Santana, Guthrie Govan, or The Piano Guys

but keep the passion to grow and learn,

you new birds will soon fly high.  

A new love I found -- acappella singing

**Add in a lil shoutout to my cabor gang:

YingChoa, Xinyi, Carmen, Foong Hwa

I'm too grateful to have you gals singing alongside with me.

Without you guys, I won't be able to write good music

and sing acapella! Loves! 

2. Song Composing

Probably an awkward topic to write.

This is my sword, but also my vice.

This is one of the reason I started this whole journey with music in UM.

I can't say I'm a capable writer,

as I'm limited to some stubborn genres,

I won't say I'm flexible,

'cause I still don't seem to agree with some music-market-doers,

But I can say I've grown,

from a bedroom song-writer to one who knows how to work with others.

I learn to develop a style, a piece of my own.

Of course, 

I won't forget to thank my all-time inspirationer.

(there's no such word, i made it up lol)

Jesus Christ.

If not because of Him, I wouldn't be writing,

and writing so abundantly. 

Many asked how could I write a song,

or how could I tell if that's a nice song?

Aside from subjectivity of diff individuals,

I always know a song is nice, if I have the peace and touch from within.

Especially songs I wrote when I pray. 

It's just a very intricate moment which is hard to explain by words.

But surely there are other ways to write songs lar...

don't get my wrong.

This is just how I write my stuff. ;) 

Love this pic to pieces!
I guess it just shows who I really am in Yao Lan Shou.
Just very me, no pretense.

3. Growth

You'd probably be snoring by now.

=P 

Anyways,

many things have changed, and still will do.

For example,

I'll never see music the same way I used to back in 2011.

Every year, every exposure, every moment,

we're improving, growing.

So, to all my friends,

young/old/junior/senior/super senior/...

Never stop growing.

Sometimes, we'll fall into a category of criticizing or subjective opinions.

That's one of the prominent I learned throughout these 3 years.

When we hear something that's out of our dictionary, or

something that's not our cup of tea,

we tend to laugh, gossip, criticize about it.

What I learn from a great musician friend (Farouque)

is that: 

Never underestimate people or circumstances around you.

In other words:

Never underestimate the power of music.

What makes it all work is passion, discipline and humility.

A senior (Siang Xi) told me,

song writing is like training muscle,

keep writing everyday, and you'll breakthrough.

It is and will always be my motto in writing song. ;) 

Another issue is working in a band.

Yes, there'll be conflicts, different personalities, hardships...etc.

It's hard to cope with people who don't see eye to eye with you.

And sometimes, you might be the trouble in the band without knowing it.

I'm glad that there are friends in YLS that would come up and to me,

and confront.

Something that many of us tend NOT to do so at all.

Friends, 

if you care about a friend so much,

and they hurt you along the way,

do go up and tell them what you feel against them. 

Don't go around and "share stories".

Because one day when the stories reached them,

that would tear their world apart.

That's what I did before.

and it got back to me, real hard in the face.

And so this year, I took the initiation to apologize to many whom I used to gossip about.

And asked for forgiveness.

Thankful for seniors like Mi Zen, who taught me that we could be firm and yet gentle to handle some hard situations with people.

And that's the wonder of YLS too.

We accept people with different colours of personalities.

That's why we're always like a family.

Tolerance and acceptance.

<3 nbsp="" p="">

3 years has come and gone,

and soon I'll have to carry on.

It's been a pleasure being with you,

my friend.

Thank you for the wonderful times and wonderful friends.

Thank you for the joy.

Thank you for the music that you gave to me,

Thank you Yao Lan Shou.

Thanks you to all the birdies!!!!

Flower in a Vase

Runaway with me,

Away from these alluring theories.

Withdrawal from paradise.

I stand a lonely flower.

Before you judge me,

know my story.

How I was cut and trimmed

to be another in the vase.

Maybe someday I'll wander my way back

to the beauty vase of every man's desire.

But today I'm planting my roots

in the grounds who will sink me deep.

Maybe someday...I'll come back. 

People say what they want,

Subjective perceptions overrated.

Views floating amidst water,

where they'll soon decay.

Before you judge me,

understand me.

Before you judge me,

know my story. 

I'm not your average flower in the vase.

2013: Walking in the Light

And like what every other people would say

"Time flies"

2013, 13, 23

probably not the most exciting numbers to be seen...

especially the Western people, cz 13 is a taboo number.

However, I believe it's gonna be a super duper exciting year for me...

It's my final semester of my final year in uni! (hopefully I won't have to repeat, choi!!)

and its the year I plan to set out for a long work and travel trip, if possible with Zau. 

Not gonna hide but I'm actually planning for a wedding, probably in the next 3 years to come...

So, there's so much going in my future plans right now, and I can't tell how excited I am to face the fast-paced months...

Thus, as (almost) every year, in my blog, here's le 2013 resolution:

1. Fulfill work-and-travel 'mission' after graduation

2. Final year project: not just achieving an "A" for it, but also spread the awareness of theatre arts to many of my friends.

3. Keep up the daily devotion discipline (I confess, I've slacked alot last year)

4. To save up $$$$$ this year. (the exact numbers are best kept private here)

5. Work more frequent and consistent on my music compositions 

6. Learn to keep in touch with new/old friends. (I slacked and grown much passive over the years...bad thing)

7. Be punctual and improve in time management. (HA HA HA, if you know what I mean)

8. Be responsible in what I say and do, 别说一套做一套

9. Learn to say NO. (yes, it's a hard thing for me)

10. Find a good job. 

Well, minus out some very detailed details, there you have my 2013 resolution list.  

There are 3 secret ones which I decided to keep to myself only, just because...it's very private! (duh? =P) 

And as I was reading through the Bible, 1 John 1:7 says:

"If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin."

I must say, it speaks right out from my heart. 

For the past year, there have been many ups and downs in my walk with God. 

Many times, I've been very irresponsible in my actions and words. 

It's like saying "I love you" to your lover, yet the other hand is holding another guy kinda thing.

(not literally ok, my love life is fine lolz)

The word of God is very precise and powerful,

because it shines on our weaknesses yet it doens't condemns...

Infact, God's grace is sufficient for us to turn away from our darkest past and walk in his new light. 

It is a revelation of thoughts, which always never fails to blow my mind away.

Many people doubted the word of the Bible more than the 2012 doomsday rumours...

but I tell you, these words are words of wisdom and truth.

So,

my conclusion? Not to lie to myself in 2013. 

It's ok to not be perfect, and it's ok to fall down.

But I can't be too complacent with sinning and asking grace every single week, 

I'm then taking advantage of the person who loves me. 

May the year 2013 be a time of walking in the light.

The light of truth, righteousness and purity.

Walk in the Light. 

All the LOVE

I have all the love I need

and I'm blessed indeed. 

But why are the arrows and bullets

getting the whole out of me?

I have all the love I need,

so why am I always circling around,

vultures who's awaiting me?

Oh Lord,

open my eyes and ears

to listen to my own heart...

and not the honeybees...

I have all the LOVE I need...

let's keep going...

What are Above the Clouds?

What are above the clouds?

Nothing shining

What are above the clouds?

Cotton candy

Right here above the clouds

My thoughts are rolling

Right here above the clouds

They're building my dreams

Dear Mr. Pilot

Take me off ground

Dear Mr. Pilot

Land me safe and sound

Right here below the clouds

My thoughts are limited

Right here below the clouds

They're building my dreams

In and out of the clouds...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wrote this song when I was on the plane back to Malaysia...

I remembered a best friend of mine used to tell me how she love to just sit and look at the clouds from below

and then I was watching from above...

The beauty of God's creation is beyond words...

During my trip to Taiwan,
I had some set backs while trying to pursue my music career. 

Facing rejections and "lessons" must be really normal in the working world...

as it is so competitive.

I'm not hating the experience of being rejected by great teachers,

infact I actually am thankful to be exposed to the market at this time...

At least I have an overview of what it will be like once I wanna do this full time.

I believe there's a place in the back of our minds...

we dream about whatever we wanna be...

But below the clouds, our actions and thoughts are limited.

Yet somehow this dream kept us moving on in life

To listen to the song: What are Above the Clouds

Hope this could be an encouragement to the ones who listened
or maybe...just a nice pat on the shoulder kinda feeling.
=)

Satisfy My...

Satisfy my soul

Warm windy wind

Satisfy my soul, 

won't you?

I am on a float,

head stuck in the clouds

Someone bring me back to ground

I am waiting     for you

to come around

And bring me back      to earth

Oh you'll always be there by my side

So I guess I'll find my way to you

Satisfy my

Satisfy my

Satisfy my

Satisfy my soul... ...

Sometimes people just hear, they don't listen

Wrote this song 2 days ago...

Mainly because I'm feeling very tired and loathe the demands there are from this world.

It is a realistic and competitive place

all of us know this fact...

and I guess this environment has shaped us to the person we have become today...

Many times they say

"Do whatever that is true to your heart"

"Be yourself"

"Do not care of what they might say"

Really?

Really??

I do not have the answers...

'cause I'm searching for it too...

Initially I took their word for it.

But then, they didnt took my actions into account.

There isn't anything I could offer them, it seems...

I tried to satisfy their souls,

but then... ...

... 

...

We all know the fact that we should not build our satisfaction on others...
but often times, I failed to not care of what people might think about me....

I hope people could just give me a nod,
a pat on the shoulder,
a hug,
a smile
a whisper saying " Thank you for your effort"

But the more I'm entering the "real" world,
the more I realized, people dont say thank you that much anymore...

"Where do I go?
Where do I stay?
Where can I find myself again?"
-------Where do I go by Relient K

I'm entering the final year of my studies.

And seriously, I'm terrified what may come.

Where do I go? What can I do?

For now, I can only hold on tightly on God's promises in my life...

what He has promised me since two years ago...

Maybe I can't write songs that could get people to bang their heads to

or dance around like Justin Bieber (0.o...seriously you wanna use JB as an example??)

But I hope I can find a platform, for me to sing songs for people who needs healing...

for those who are lost.

ジョセリン  がんばっくてください!!

=) 

Better Get Drunk With More Coffee

Gloomy morning

The sun is dimmer, maybe

I wonder why bad things happen to me?

Come on, lady...

Pack up all this nonsense

Keep the negativity out of your skin

Because

That's ok, 

The sun will still shine big

Upon our faces

Hook on a smile and face your day...

And if your friends don't speak

Just leave them be

There's more yet to see

The day will still move on

So why won't you be happy? 

End of new song.

And look at my emo face

Company is on a one week holiday

Yay for some people,

but I didnt took the time to go to further places in Taiwan.

Why??
1. Typhoon came (bummer)

2. Tickets were sold out

3. Trying to save money

4. I'm just finding excuses to cover up my foolishness...

It's been pretty quiet lately...

not literally but...connectively I guess...

Cultural and hospitality differences...

I guess I'm not VERY independent to be left out alone

and do everything on my own for good.

Well, if you know me well,

this really isn't how I prefer to be...

 If you can survive
1. Not being able to do what you love
2. Closed up in many situations, only being told last minute
3. Ignored
4. Faced with hard brick walls after countless of initiation to bond
5. Receiving "We'll consider and let you know soon" responses while you were trying damn hard to get to know others by asking them out...
6. Home alone 9 days...

Well, then you're much a better me.
I guess no.1 and 3 killed me the most.

This shot took me few attempts...proud of the outcome *lovin' it*

Oh well, its really not for me to judge or have a say on anything here..

I'm just a passer-by that might not make a difference...

I'm trying hard to find a place and trace to fit in...

Maybe I'm just too keen to be one of them...

Maybe it's better to be "independent" and leave things out of it...

and just mind my own business...

But really...that's not how I roll.

Think of the good side...

this gives me plenty of time to write, talk to myself,

and have a little "me" time.

And it's ok if I keep hitting into brick walls,
'cause I'll just trying until I meet a wall that's willing to open a door for me...
=)
Still keeping my hopes up.

Or...

Might as well, get more coffee

to drunk away this pessimistic feeling...

What Happened On the Brunch Table

When life gives you lemons, 

you turn them into lemonades...

When Taiwan gives you typhoon,

you turn them into plenty of time to kill...

Need not to explain too much, 

Typhoon came, 

plans to indulge myself in Starbucks failed,

so the best thing to do is sit and home 

and COOK.

Bacon, bacon, bacon...I repeat, its bacon, no beef bacon! 

This toast taste x100 better than Gardenia. =P



Have been into cooking lately,
that's because my house in Taiwan has a kitchen! 
Compared to outside food and hostel cafeteria ones,
home cook is da best! 
And one does not need much skills to cook something edible. 
I'm no pro in cooking,
I just like to "mix and match" in the kitchen. *winks*
Now who would like to try my home-cooked food??


Being here in Taiwan,
being a part of Teenagers Performing Arts League (TPAL)
I've been learning alot.
The culture, lingo, history...not to mention weather....
There are so much to appreciate,
and at the same time,
travelling made me learn to treasure my own country more. 

LOVE, even though when it's hard.

P/s: These are events that took place on the brunch table...

I can't see my title...

Facebook killed almost everything else on the web...
haha at least for my case it is...
I seldom blog like I used to when I was a teenager...

Wait...I was?

Damn~~

Anyways, it's super hot summer night here in Taipei. The hotness is unlike Malaysia's...here it makes you hot and sweat uncomfortably, and sticky sticky all the way. *Rubs off "daki"* HAHAH!

Went to Warner Music of Taiwan today, I know I made a big deal out of it in Facebook, but then....I really couldn't help the mix feelings inside me. It's that kinda feeling when you feel like crying but then no tears coming out ...= /

The story was like this:
I saw Mr. Guan (Malaysia's renowned producer/lyricist) posting on his status stating that he's in Taipei too. So, without expecting much of a reply, I still left a comment asking where he was. He then invited me to visit his company anytime. I was really shocked and excited about it. Imagine visiting Warner Music...I might meet a celebrity or who knows to my mayhem kinda imagination -- get a record deal??? *trolling in my dreams*

So, I took the trouble to go to the office. It was an hour's journey from where I worked to that place man...its like travelling from Kelana Jaya to Setapak, to and fro....haha. Good thing, Taiwan provides awesome public transportation, it was not that hard to find the place.
Then I was greeted sceptically by the counter lady. She really looked at me with a noble questionable look on her face. I could imagine inside her mind "Hey fanatic fan gal, this is not a ticket selling booth you know? Get back to your fan club..."
I really have mayhem imagination. She got me started.

Anyways, I called Ah Guan sir, he need to personally come out to let me in because the lady really didnt want to let me in! She didnt even wanna listen to my lousy nokia phone with Ah Guan sir on the line. Wth...=.=''' So arrogant.

SO here's the juice.
I got in. Yay for the 1st step.
Sat down with sir there...and to my surprise, he was there to talk music(business kinda music)
Wow great, I wasn't prepared with any demos, all I had was rough demos in my Ipad. He listened and thought I wasn't that ready yet. So he went talent hunting, infront of me!
Wow. Painfully honest man.
It's not his fault though. I was to blame too.

I guess he had second thoughts to sign me too.

So he kept asking me who else can write songs...etc
I still willing gave a few names...and he dug into it.
I'm glad that some of my friends gain recognition from him,
but in the same time, I was deeply impacted.

I saw a reality.
A harsh one.
If you don't work your butts out and deliver well, someone will be at the door step to take your place.
That's the case in this industry. Competitions are BURNINGLY FURIOUS!
And I felt the heat now.

Before this, I was still living the la-la-land life,
thinking that I can take my own sweet time to produce my own music.
Write whatever I wanna write.
And maybe one day someone will just discover me and turn me into something overnight.
That's what those sucker tv series teach us...and I bought into that lie.

High-rise-dream, I shall conquer you someday...

So, it was definitely a wake-up call for me.
I know before this I was kinda defensive when people (who works in the industry) pointed out that my songs  needs to be modified etc...
I thought that I know my music the best...
But it isn't how things roll here.

As a song writer, we gotta be open to any suggestions and advice. Change when necessary. Or else, you might loose a good chance.

But then there were motivational moments...sitting there having a chat with Ah Guan sir definitely motivated me somehow. He said " Who said that you have to write music to sell? You just need to write good music"
Haha...He showed some demos to me too, and it was hell of a crazy competition going on.
So motivation no.2 --> need to UP my game in doing my demos.
Motivation no.3 --> write songs everyday....like literally! My role model: Wu Jia Hui

Well, for those who read till the end here, congrats for surviving through this boring whiny post. Hope you are inspired somehow.
I am still in the shocked and depressed mode here, but I know I have to keep going on and improving or else, I'll just squander in self-pity and go nowhere. The world doesn't wait for us to pick up ourselves and slowly get back on our feet. We gotta keep up.

Thank God for a wake up call and a great chance. It's not like we could have the privilege to troll around Warner Music's office and get starred down by leng lui counter lady. Right?

I'm very much blessed. =)

Really didnt had the mood to take pics, so this is the one and only memorial pic I have for this journey. May I not smile like that the next time ( I believe there will be a next time)

Malaysia's Customer Services Needs Some Upgrading to Do!!

Yesterday,
on a sunny, not-too-hot-to-kill-you kinda warm day...
I took quite a troublesome journey to the Taiwan Cultural and Economic centre in Menara Yayasan Tun Razak, Jalan Bukit Bintang. This is because I have to do my visa for my upcoming internship in Taipei for 2 months starting July.
It was quite a long walk from the Bukit Bintang monorail though, tiring actually. haha...

Anyhow, sweaty and hot, my friend and I arrived at the office place.
And lo and behold, I was greeted by a lady in the counter with a sour face. As if she ate more plums than any of us does...
And as ALWAYS, being so insensitive to such early "warnings" emitted by this lady, I wasn't aware about what's the come next.

(Lady in red, and I'm in blue.)

“文件呢？都拍好了吗？” (where's your documents? are they well arranged?)
“好了”
“你没贴上照片，2张” (You have yet to paste your photos, 2 copies)

So I went to glue my photos on the documents, but I was kinda blur that time, plus she was giving vague instructions, I glued 2 photos of mine on the application form. Passed back to her...

“tsk, 小姐不是说贴在这里吗？！而且是贴一张而已！”
(tsk, miss, haven't I told you to paste it here?! And just one photo is enough!")

Guys, I'm not freaking kidding when I put the "!" mark here in the dialogue, cz she was literally raising her voice at me. Its the kind where you didnt do your house work when you're supposed to, then your mom would storm in your room and yell at your in an increasingly loud volume...as if someone is gradually turning up the volume in their throats...or lungs...or chest...whatever)

Truly I was shocked by her responds, cz that is really unprofessional. Yeah I know I did a mistake, quite an annoying mistake, but I'm the customer here and that is how you Taiwan ambassadors treat us? I feel that there is a rude attitude there. Clearly I was mistreated.

Blah!
Do you know what's the worse thing? I freaking didnt do anything to respond, but just stood there and go "oh ok...",
then couldn't-carelessly pluck out my ugly passport photos and stick on the counter table...

Silent protest I might call it...hehe.

And if you think this is only it, WELL WRONG!

I was be greeted by other unfortunately bad customer service events in Pavilion KL. The salesgirl in The Body Shop couldn't careless to look at me when she knew about my RM50 budget to get a gift for my friend. I find it rather discriminating. You might think I'm overreacting...but girls generally has the instinct to know when they are in the "kena stared down zone"...

Then in SASA, a salesgirl asked if I needed assistance. Though I did not intend to buy anything, I asked her to recommend a good liquid eyeliner so that I budget for one soon. She was tactical enough to show me around, then went straight to the point

*holding the liquid eyeliner, ready to send to counter*
"Anything else you wanna purchase,miss?"
"Owh, I would like to consider about it first."
" Is there ANYTHING else I can get for you?" *with the same starry-scary eyes again like Body Shop gal*
"Erm, can I look around first?"

The next minute, I could see her rolling her eyeballs while turning her back on me. It was still fine, I had met with so many such experience, where salesgirls treats us like their lil ignorant sisters who just wanna learn make up, as if we dont know anything. Ironically, I met quite alot of such examples in SASA. TROLOLOLOL....
Then I could hear her gossiping about another customer, aunty customer who was few rows behind me.
This scene got the whole out of me. It has been a very very very very bad culture for sales persons or anybody in any profession to react such a way to their clients/customers...not to mention infront of other customers....It's just plain rudeness.

Just like recently the PR fail incident of Paradigm Mall. (No i'm not trying to promote it..haha)
Even if the customer is annoying and disturbing, the management can't just screw people off like that (especially when the whole conversation is open for the public to witness)
Aiyooo...

save your time for something than bitching other bitches...*opps*

Not that I'm prejudice towards salesman/salesgirl or whoever related in such line, but I've gone through many unpleasant customer service such as this. I just hope I know how to respond well but then make my defence poisely without shrieking or ending up in a cat fight.

Is this the kind of culture in Malaysia? Where customers are intimidated by the salespersons and often they can't handle the rejection of the customers. Then they ended gossiping and bad-mouthing the people who dont wan't to buy their products/services. Clearly, Malaysia's customer services gotta UP their game more lorrrrrr.....

I've met with a consultant in London Body Management, who insulted my friend about us students being poor and undeserving of their services. Then when she met with another customer (rich aunty), she changed her egoistic attitude into an obedient puppy. Dramatic right? It was real life drama. *Oscar award for her please*

Having said that, sometimes I might fall into this category of people. Maybe not to customers but to friends and family. I'm glad THESE incidents acted as a good reminder for me. That is to NOT judge people or judge blatantly.

Quote from my friend, Malcolm, about judging:

We always say "do not judge a book by its cover", but everytime we look at a new facebook profile we'll automatically check out the photo section first. No photo, terus close tab.
Anyone check out the "about me" section? Or "favourite books"?

I am quite defenceless when it comes to such confrontational discrimination/judgement...sighs. All I usually do is write a song about it and sing those bitterness away. And not to mention, discuss with Mr. Gorian. Haha...he'll always enlighten me with funny comments and responds. Sometimes how I wish he'll be by my side when all these things happen. He'll probably blast the salesgirl's mind off with his consultant arguing skills. XD



What would Jesus do if he's there with me on the "crime" scene?
God please bless and extinguish their fiery hearts......



 and mine.